I've been in denial for most of my life about having a compulsive eating disorder. For as long as I can remember, I've never really liked how I looked. It didn't help that nearly every day my mother would/still does remind me that I'm "fat." I've been to hospitals before for depression, and I was in a boarding school for the last two years of high school, and I'm still in one for a post-grad program. It seems like, whenever I felt like I wasn't being treated well by my parents, my advisers and staff would only back them up. My adviser even forced me to look up my BMI just to tell me I was obese. Throughout all of this, I turned to food. I never admitted it to myself. Usually it was just "snacking" or a reward for doing something well. Its only recently that, through seeing several of my friends succumb to Anorexia, and doing some research on Eating Disorders, I've come to realize that I've been battling with binge eating for as long as I can remember.
I have a problem, though. Other than friends, I have nobody to turn to. Recently I approached my therapist about the possibility of me having a binge eating problem, and he told me I was "ridiculous" and it was probably another delusion of mine, trying to find a new way to get attention. I will admit, I have had issues with attention seeking behaviors in my past, but this is something I'd rather keep quiet. And I can't think of turning to my parents. I asked my mom what she thought about compulsive eating disorders and she laughed and told me "is that what the new excuse is these days?"
I'm going to look into getting a therapist change, but I was hoping I could get advice from others. How should I go about telling my friends? (I'm only telling my best friend and my boyfriend, because I KNOW they will support me.) What should I look for in a therapist who could help me with my eating disorder?
Sorry if this is long and rambling. I just feel like maybe if I tell someone who has been through something similar and has gotten through it, I can get through it too...