I'm MORE than obese!

Mental Health Eating Disorders & Body Dysmorphia
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1

Part of healing from my ED is realizing WHO I am. Yes I am morbidly obese but it doesn't define me.

what defines me?
I'm a blonde with hazel eyes.
I'm the second of two children.
I love to sing.
I love to laugh.
I play the french horn.
I love my coworkers and am loyal to my job.
I have a pretty smile.
I love dogs and mine in particular.
I'm married and have been for almost twenty years.
I have no children.
I love my bed and wrapping up in warm linens.
I love sitting on my back patio on a cool night in front of my outdoor fireplace with a glass of wine.
I'm good at my job.
I like to cook.
My favorite foods are tater tots and brown sugar cinnamon pop tarts.
I miss both of my parents who are now gone.
I love to watch football with my husband.
I love watching romantic comedies.
I'm really bad at talking in front of lots of people.

THAT's ME. I'm not just obese.

2

i wish i could get to your point. im --, and im 14. ive always been big, im so upset and depressed by it. any advice?

3

Hi! I’m now 47 years old and I’ve been large since I was 7 or 8 years old. I weigh more than you and I won’t say I’m not depressed because I have days where life sucks.

However, any day (hour or minute) that I can think good things about myself, the closer I am to kicking out my ED. I’ve come to realize that I may not like my size but what if I never lose a pound? Am I going to hate myself the rest of my life just because I’m a certain size? I simply can’t bash myself every day like I did a few years ago. That gets me nowhere. I have to live my life NOW. I can’t look to the future because I may never change my weight and who’s to say there even is a tomorrow. I have to live NOW.

I hope you do see your worth NOW and that you are not just your size. I wish you would take a while to type out your wonderful attributes right here, right now.

4

I stand back, look at you, and applaud. You go girl. Its been way to long since someones stood up and said, "Number on a scale do not define me." I'm guilty of partaking in becoming Obese. It's like most of us walk around and instead of introducing ourselves, we say, "Hello, Im obesity, nice to meet you." I hope one day I can stand up for myself like you do. Thank you for being you. : )

5

dance...thank you for sharing parts of who you really are...you are NOT your body or your weight, and being able to move away from the obsession could be a key part of your healing...take care...Jan ♥

6

this is amazing and ----so true

love
maureen

7

dfj, i love this!!! and you're so right! i hope you can remind yourself of all your qualities everyday!!!

you rock!

love
maedi

8

I love this post, so inspiring! Society fails to realize that our differences don't make us better or worse - they simply make us unique and that's the best definition to me!

9

I want to thank you all for your responses.

I think I posted this because I've always been so down on myself for being fat but I do realize how much of a role that society plays in this.

It's "right" to be thin and "wrong" to be fat. It's healthy to be thin and unhealthy to be fat. It's saintly to be thin and sinful to be fat. It's beautiful to be thin and ugly to be fat.

THAT IS ALL SO RIDICULOUS!

My self-bashing began when my parents didn't see me as good enough or thin enough at a very young age. It continued when my "best friend" in grade school was overheard telling other friends that I was too fat and she didn't want me on her team. It continued all through school and into college where I would be yelled at from passing cars as I was walking around the track..."fat cow go home!" They didn't even know me but they felt the impulse to judge me and yell mean things for everyone around to hear. How humiliating and degrading.

I listened to all those voices and they became mine. I ended up being the one who told myself I was "bad", "wrong" or "sinful" for being large. I went on diet after diet and lost weight to only gain it back and more. I've basically dieted myself to obesity. My doc said I'm healthy and even though I have heart issues in my family, my heart is great, my blood pressure is stellar and I show no signs of diabetes. (I know that not all fat people are healthy but neither are all fat people unhealthy so don't assume that to be true.)

I realized about five years ago that being thin would not make me "better". If I lose weight and become my "ideal" weight, I'll still have issues with abandonment, trust issues, self bashing thoughts - only for things other than weight, repressed memories from my childhood, etc... I would rather spend my time trying to figure out "why" I eat than to watch every morsel I put into my mouth. If I figure out the whys, I'll go from there.

Wow, I sound really good and convincing today don't I? Well, that's just for today. I may post tomorrow with a totally different outlook but that's what ED does to us...it won't let go that easily! This disease is to be taken one minute at a time and any good moments I have, I'm grateful for.

I'm so glad I found this place to have someone to share my ups and downs with. You just happened to catch me in an "up" period. hahahaha

I'm going to eat dinner with my hubby now and then watch a movie. I wish you all the best and I'll check in again later.

10

dfj, im loving, loving you 'current' attitude!! if/when you falter just look back to this post and remind yourself of YOUR attitude and opinion, not ED's.

and i really love this one: I would rather spend my time trying to figure out "why" I eat than to watch every morsel I put into my mouth. If I figure out the whys, I'll go from there.
i shall try remember that myself :-)

keep up the positive thinking! but no matter what, know that we're here for you!

love
maedi