I've been under so much stress by my family lately, it made me want to cry. The way I've been mistreated overwhelms me to the point of depression. I'm just so tired of being everyone's doormat or utensil. And lately I feel like a failure because them criticizing me all the time on the way I cook, theway I clean up, how I spent my time at home, usually over the years. I never said that I was going to be anyone's unpaid servant or anyone's footstool when I grow. I do have dreams of my own, goals I wanted to accomplish in my life since I was a little girl. But I barely achieved any of them because I'm stuck being obligated to them and earned nothing in return. My social life is sad since I was little. I'm 33, but I always feel like a kid wanting to run away from home when it becomes too much to deal with. I have no where to go, no one to turn to, I have no job, no money, no medicaid card, so I'm stuck. Now I'm feeling some numbness on my neck, shoulders, arms, hands and chests that has been going on for hours. All because of that stress and pressure from mostly everyone in the household. I think the reason why they treat me like this is because they don't want to see me as a person with feelings, instead they want me to be someone they want me to become and I'm never happy with it.
I just needed to vent because I've been through so much emotionally, nobody in my family household won't listen anyway. Any options, suggestions, or words of comfort will be appreciated.
You don't say if you have kids, but if you do, could you trade babysitting with a friend or neighbor so you could each get a well deserved break once in a while? You are young enough that your kids are probably too young to tell you how much they appreciate all you do in the house. Don't expect that thanks for many years. In the meantime, try to find a way to get out of the house and do something just for yourself. It's okay to be selfish for a minute. You deserve it and you are worth it, and when you come back, you might look at your house and family differently.
I’m not married I have no children of my own. I’m just living with my mother, my older sister with her children, my two brothers (one of them is bipolar for years) and my grandmother.
charm hun, first i'm quite sorry for your feelings mistreated boxed it and feel like you have no where to turn. but yu have already taken a step have'nt you? you posted here. so congralations your on your way to freedom from self and others.
now you need to take some steps. and yes you'll be afraid, that's normal honey. i can only comment on what you have posted. why no medical? get some if possible. no job? go job hunting.....use the computer as a valuable tool for looking up these things.
it may be time to start setting some boundries with those in your household. they may cook and clean themselves to their liking freeing you to do others things. hope this gives you some ideas of where/how to start living again
Believe me, I have tried job hunting for years, I’ve sent out resumes, been on a couple of job interviews, no one called me back, no one hired me. I even tried applying for temp jobs, no response from them. And some of the clerical jobs in NYC that I want to apply for at entry level has certain requirements I don’t even have. I have absolutely no job training in any field except hospitality and I don’t want to do that again. Bad experience with the hotel housekeeping job. And I don’t like vocational school who sent me there. Seriously, I’m an aspiring singer, songwriter, and producer. I just don’t have any social connections who can help me. If I can take a job now, I would, but it’s gonna be temporary, hopfully in Mahattan (I don’t want to work in Queens nor Long Island anymore. I want to start my own music business as a performer.
I'm not married I have no children of my own. I'm just living with my mother,, my older sister with her children, my two brothers (one of them is bipolar for years) and my grandmother.
I think you will find some self-worth in doing something somewhere. We all have to work. Can you volunteer? Can you take a different hospitality job? Can you retool your skills online so you can qualify for a clerical job? Can you take the job in Queens or Long Island just to occupy yourself, get out of the house, and earn some money? Sometimes we have to take or do jobs we don't necessarily love or want and that's just part of being self-sufficient. If you were less financially dependant upon your family, you might feel better. The music career sounds like a nice goal, but having any sort of job right now is better than sitting at home in a miserable household.
I would, but I’m not good at working in a fast paced environment, I just don’t have the speed to accomplish anything. That hotel job in Long Island made me cry every day, they gave me so much of a hard time over there, saying that I’m too slow to clean rooms, but I can’t help that, I can’t clean 14 rooms in one day, including the larger one and they didn’t hire enough people in housekeeping and I’m not used to the Long Island commune. I’ve been working for six months straight and it did get any better, because they adding more work that has been taking up too much of my time. I already had a few complaints. I had no choice but to quit, I didn’t chose that job site, that school did. I wanted to work in Mahattan, I’m use to the commute there, I used to live in Harlem. Besides, I miss living there.
I was only suggesting work because you said you are miserable living with your family, so if you had a job and an income, you would have a hope of moving out. Not trying to be funny, but perfomers like Justin Bieber got their start by performing on a street corner. Since you're not working and earning money anyway, is there any chance you could perform for free in your neighborhood or in your target area of Manhattan?