I started dating a wonderful man over 2 months ago. We were upfront and honest with each other about EVERYTHING in the beginning, so I knew of his PTSD, although I had no idea what it entailed (except for what he explained to me). In the 2 short months we were together, we got very close and got along great. Then out of the blue yesterday, he closes himself off to me and doesn't want to talk or text. When I ask him why, he replies, "Right now is not the right time. You're only going to get the answers you don't want to hear." This is coming from a man who just last week was telling me how much he loved me and had even hinted of marriage.
I am so confused and upset right now, I can't even focus. I cried all day at work yesterday and made a complete fool of myself. The worst part was going to bed without him for the first time last night. I wanted to call and tell him goodnight, but I was afraid it would only push him further away. So please, I'm asking for suggestions from anyone on what I should do. Should I just leave him alone and hope he'll bounce back to his happy self before long or should I try talking to him? I'm so lost without him. Thanks.
Jesus, sounds so familiar what I am going through with the wonderful man I started dating 4 months ago...I wish I knew the answers but I am still looking for them too. maybe we could keep in touch and try to help each other as we go-what do you think?
maryte
I know he has alot of additional stress right now. His 2 teenage daughters are flying in from out of town on Friday and he's been anticipating that. However it looks like I won't get to meet them as planned. Still no call or text from him so I'm assuming he still hasn't felt the need to get things off his chest just yet. :(
Please add me to the keep in touch list with you two girls.I have been with my bf for over a year now and have been through and am still going through exactly the same things.The first thing to remember is this isn't your fault or the wonderful men in your lives fault.I remind myself of that everyday.You have to stay strong and know he isn't pushing you away because of anything you did or didn't do.That was the hardest for me.I started doubting myself and thinking he just wasn't that into me,or maybe he had someone else and wasn't sure if I was who he wanted to be with.He seemed to push me away and the more I tried to understand why the harder he pushed me away.The crazy thing is I have never been insecure with myself or been the jealous type,as time went on I started to feel bad about myself.Sometimes I feel so alone and isolated no one in my family or friend circle would understand.The anger issues are another topic all together.If you haven't dealt with that yet please educate yourselves so when it happens you will know how to deal with it and what not to say.Being with someone who suffers from PTSD is hard,frusterating sad,lonely..ect. It isn't something that can be fixed quickly.You have a long road ahead of you We all do,.Im sorry but it wouldn't be fair to sugarcoat it.these are the facts.Don't feel bad or guilty if you educate yourselves and decide this isn't anywhere close to the fairytail you were expecting and you can't do it.You may be thinking I am a negative person and it can't be as bad or hard as it sounds I promise it is.With saying that I will tell you the man I love and now live with is so worth all of the trials and tribulations we are living with.I have so much to learn and this could be a life long journey.I just tell myself it's not him it's PTSD and I will give it everything I have in me to make it work.There is another site called psyc central that has helped me so much.the sub catagory under PTSD and combat PTSD.I hope this wasn't too harsh and didn't freek you out and everyones PTSD is different but part of education ourselves is knowing the truth form the start.I am trying my best to keepthefaith :-)
Thank you so much for your message. Everything is so truth...I had to step back to see the entire picture and it is not pretty. But I got my self-confidence back and and I am not sure if I am going to continue this journey. He will not change, I know this is not his fault but why should I sacrifice my life? I am not young, I already had happiness but for you young girls, why would you stay with the men who are emotionally dead and care only about themselves? If you are married and have children you might stay for the sake of your children, but why in other cases? Step back, go and date other men ant then you will know if you want him back in your life.
To keepthefaith- do you know something about them being easily manipulated by other people, especially who pretend like they need help? My boyfriend always cares more for homeless, drug addicts etc then me. He looses and then he keeps coming back to me...
Maryte