Im no sure what to do I have lived with my narcisstic mother for 24 years and now im pregnant and im wondering if its better to move out or have the child at the house where she is? She treats me bad and verbally abuses me but now shes playing the victim and making out im in the wrong and I feel guilty. I feel too guilty to move out too. I cant really move out until august as my partner starts his new job then so we could afford it. please guide me on what to do. I pay half the rent at my mums now but just feel so upset no matter what i do.
Han1001, your gut and intuition are talking to you here by pointing out that you are abused and unhappy with your mom in your life. That is evidence enough that you need to go through with this idea to get away from her. I have a narcissist dad and last year I had enough of my lifetime of abuse by him and went completely no contact, and it was the best decision I ever made. He may be elderly and dying, but that doesn't absolve him from the the just desserts of anyone who abuses somebody they are supposed to love and care for. That goes likewise for your mom. When people are cruel, they forfeit any parental rights. Just because she gave birth to you does not give her license to abuse you. You, on the other hand, have the right to live in peace and be happy. You also need to think of your future child, who will also suffer both from your mom's abuse of him or her, as well as having a mother (you) who is struggling and unhappy. The best advice I can give you is move out, and then stop all contact with your mom. Any communication whatsoever with a narcissist only leads to more abuse, and there is no way you will ever get her to change...that's not how Narcissistic Personality Disorder works. Trust me, I can tell you with 100% certainty that this is the right thing to do--and there is no reason whatsoever to feel guilty for doing it. If a rape victim never wanted any contact again with her rapist, should she feel guilty for that? Of course not! Well, it's no different in the case of those of us who have been abused by our narc parents. Oh, and her efforts to make you feel guilty are just more abusive manipulation. She's wrong--your desire to escape her is right!