I'm not okay

I'm young just turn 19 not to long ago, I'm healthy , I have an amazing family who I love very much and would give my life for in a heart beat , good friend, and I'm kinda going to school
But I feel so alone, lost, tired and useless. I feel like god is punishing me by giving me another day to live. Every night I pray for god to take me as soon as possible to kill me because I'm to much of a coward to do myself. Pretty selfish huh. I mean there so many people who are dying and want to live , some many people in the hospital fighting to live another day and here I am wanting to die. I'm freaking disgusting really.
I've felt depressed for as long as I can remember. It wasn't so bad before, I could pretended to be okay and people would believe me. Now my depression has gotten out of hand, I can't even pretended anymore I'm just tired of telling myself and the world that I'm okay when I'm not
I told my mom how I felt she said its just a "stage" teenagers go though and I'll get over it
She doesn't believe in depression
I told my brother but he got mad at me for thinking like that he told to get my head out of my a**
He said that the world is a cruel place get use to it
So am I stupid and wrong for feeling like this?
Somedays I feel okay those are rare
But most days I'm not okay

You are not stupid for feeling that way.

Trust me, you are not alone. Sometimes a change of scenery helps, go for a walk, smell some flowers, snuggle face to face with a puppy, and lastly, remind yourself that you do have value, every single day.