I'm reaching out to this group because I need help and I don't know what to do. I'm stuck in a pretty bad situation, and right now it seems as if there's no way out. I am 22, fresh out of college, and still financially dependent on my parents. Recently, I was laid off from a job that was helping me be somewhat independent (paying for my own groceries, gas, and rent), and ever since then it has opened a massive can of worms.
My parents have always felt that I am not good enough. I've had generalized anxiety disorder for as long as I can remember, so simple things like driving across town or going in for a job interview absolutely terrify me. My parents do not understand this, and feel that anxiety is something I should just be able to "get over." I went to counseling for a while, which I felt was helping a great deal, but my insurance suddenly stopped covering it and my parents refuse to help me pay for it because they don't think I actually need it.
Recently, I tried to stand up to my mom (who is the worst of the two when it comes to verbal abuse), and all it earned me was my dad threatening to disown me and cut me off financially (which would absolutely devastate me, as I have nowhere else to go). I'm stuck between being constantly verbally assaulted and told I'm not good enough, or living in a cardboard box while I struggle to find a new job. I've applied everywhere, and although I can't force someone to give me a job, my parents feel as if I sit on my butt all day doing nothing. I can't escape them, and they know it, so I'm forced to play nice and live by their rules in what is increasingly becoming an extremely toxic environment.
Honestly, I just need to know that I'm not alone, and that there are people out there who've survived situations similar to mine. Right now, it feels as if I'll never be free of them, as there are many things I've never learned to do and being independent is hard for me. I don't want to use my anxiety as a crutch, but it becomes so much worse when I'm being constantly belittled and put down by my own parents, who are supposed to be my biggest support group. I don't know what to do or where to turn, and without a job I'm trapped. If anyone could offer me any advice, I would really appreciate the help. I'm at the end of my rope and feeling very alone.