I'm so embarrassed when I eat

I'm overweight and very self-concious. I've always been fat. Sometimes I try to starve myself. Some days I feel like I'm never full. Those are the days I hide when I eat. I don't want anyone to see me. I feel so ashamed.

Beautiful...I love this part of your username! Welcome!
You describe a very chaotic eating pattern. I am sorry you are suffering. Are you seeing a professional? If not, I recommend that you consider it.
Eating disorders are tied up with emotional distress, and if you can gain a better understanding of that, and normalize your eating patterns, you will be better able to look at things objectively.
Please continue to share, and tell us more about who you are!
Take care...Jan ♥

Jan, you are too kind and thank you.
No I’m not really suffering, I just have bad days. Like yesterday, I was so hungry all day! And I just kept thinking to myself “You’re such a pig! How can you still be hungry?” But I really was hungry!
My sister-in-law is so skinny and she eats more than I do on any given day! It’s funny because if I see a really cute outfit at the store that doesn’t come in my size I buy it for her and she wears it for me. Trust me she doesn’t mind the new clothes.

By the way, I’m Jen