I'm so mad, I hate them both, how can you betray the perso

I'm so mad, I hate them both, how can you betray the personal that would take a bullet for u for simple pleasure. I hate the girl and I hate him for doing what he did to me. Deep inside I love him, but the man I met the moment I caught him cheating was a malicious stranger.. I feel like I live with the enemy. Everything I though we had was a lie. How do I forgive him? How do u get past this? Does he really regret what he did ? Or will he just become a better lier and cheat again. Has someone out there been in my situation . Help.

4 Hearts

First, I know it is easy to hate her, but did she even know about you? Second, you don't get past this, you either work towards dealing with it, or you decide he isn't worth it. This is a time where he needs to show he is truly repentant, not just sorry he got caught.

Sorry to hear about that. My wife of ten years just confessed to an affair (ongoing) and wanting a divorce. I also found out about another guy. This isn't easy stuff to deal with. Be kind to yourself, don't blame yourself.

1 Heart

@mmfhl Welcome to SG! You will meet many wonderful people here, fondly called SG friends. The bottom of the page is a FAQ, it will assist you in navigating the site. The top right of this page are numerous groups, also there is a Support Someone icon, familarized yourself with them. You may join as many groups as necessary. There are Depression, and Divorce groups . Remember you’re not alone, SG friends are here, to support, and be supported. Be strong the best is yet, to follow…

@storm01 Welcome to SG! You will meet many wonderful people here, fondly called SG friends. The bottom of the page is a FAQ, it will assist you in navigating the site. The top right of this page are numerous groups, also there is Support Someone icon, familarized yourself with them. You may join as many groups as necessary. There is an Infidelity. Remember you're not alone, SG friends are here, to support, and be supported. Be strong the best is yet, to follow.......

1 Heart

Malicious stranger. Living with the enemy. Everything was a lie. Yes, I know all these feelings. All too well. It sux hard. It destroys everything u ever knew. My heart goes out to u. This is really really hard

3 Hearts

@DestroyedAlone, malicious stranger…<3

Forgiving someone only means u dont hate that person anymore or hold anything against them. It does not mean u have to be with them, talk to them or have them in ur life. U feel like u live with the enemy because he is the enemy. He doesnt regret what he did. He's mad at himself for getting caught. Yes he will become a better cheat and lier because u r the one giving him permission to since u r still with him. He knows he can have his cake and eat it too.

@Coco11 I hate to admit it but I feel the same way. It’s hard to trust again.

Yes many of us here have been down the similar path. All the feelings you are going through are normal. Only time will tell what can heal and if they have truly changed and won't hurt us like this again. Be patient with yourself as your emotions will be all over the place for awhile and you will feel hyper vigilant and suspicious. This is your mind's way of protecting you from further trauma. Take the pressure off yourself and just take one day at a time and you will start seeing clearer of what has happened and what you need going forward. Keeping talking and building a supportive support group of people to help you heal.

2 Hearts

I read something a while back, that goes something like this:
Forgive those who do wrong to you,
not because they deserve forgivness
but, because you deserve peace.

7 Hearts

I know the feeling. ........ I keep thinking was she prettier than me. Or did he like her because she was younger than me

From Romantic Relationships to Cheating & Infidelity