I'm so tired of this rollercoaster ride. One minute I'm doin

I'm so tired of this rollercoaster ride. One minute I'm doing ok, the next I feel like I can barely breathe. I still can't focus at work. All I do is obsess about what she is doing during the day. She still works at the same place and the guy she had the affair with is still there too. She says it's over, and I believe her. But I obsess over looking at phone bills and checking emails and I find myself searching different social media sites for any signs of her having some secret profile. I just want my life back.

1 Heart

I understand. I never used to be even remotely the jealous type, but now I get suspicious about everything my husband does, it seems. I would have a very hard time if he worked with the OW. Any chance of your wife finding another job? It has got to be hard to move on if she has contact with him still.

1 Heart

@Dryad, yes, it is very difficult to deal with as you can imagine. We are still together right now for a few reasons, but I'm really having a hard time with all of this. And what makes things excruciating for me is we commute together to work in the morning. She drops me off at my office then she goes to hers. Well, when she was having the affair she would drop me off and then go meet him and have sex in his truck. Both in the morning and sometimes at lunch too. They don't work in the same office, but they are in the same building, just down the hall from each other. We have talked about her moving positions, but it's difficult with the type of work she does.

I remember turning into a private eye my first month. I was up to date on all the different spy equipment and knew everything down to the detail. I even had a small circle of people who helped and gave advice. It was toxic and counter productive to my healing. I used to review her activities at the end of the day and remember how hard it was to sleep. Then one morning I woke up and was done. I told myself this isn't who you want to be isn't it simpler just to leave her and be done with it. I wasn't ready to leave but I decided that I wasn't going to do that anymore. If she cheats again I may not find out right away but I will find out. Not going to lie it is still hard. I have to fight myself from going back to that. You say you want your life back. You may never get it back from her but you can take it back from yourself. Be the person you were or that you want to be. Make yourself the center of your universe and she is just in the orbit. Like a fly to an elephant her actions don't control anything and you decide the way the relationship goes.

2 Hearts

I still have tendencies to be a super sleuth. All it does is trigger me now because I did find out a whole lot by being a super detective. Listen, it is a horrible thing and a tough stage when you are always on alert. Do your best to relax and maybe get something to help from your doctor. Can she change jobs or ask for a transfer?

I just purchased a gps tracker and a microfone that im thinking to hide at his office.
This is just sad ,i was never like that before

1 Heart

From Romantic Relationships to Cheating & Infidelity