I'm still sad and depressed. Still hurting and lost. I see s

Mental Health Depression & Mood Disorders
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I'm still sad and depressed. Still hurting and lost. I see so many others around me find love and I am still alone, year after year after year. And then people tell me things like, "You have to love yourself first" when I DO ALREADY love myself and when 90% of the people I see who find love, who have that one person who keeps them going, are far from perfect. It doesn't make sense. It's like everyone is telling me I need to be perfect. Like, I can't be flawed like THEM and still find someone. Oh no. That won't work for ME even though someone found THEM worth loving.

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Jon, I'm sorry you're going through this. People here at SG care. Its just 12:40am on a Wednesday (in the U.S. at least) people are probably sleeping for work/school. Sometimes, people dont know what to say to posts.. I really don't know what to say, but trust me we care. Keep your head up bud. Xoxo

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@tay1_23xoxo Thank you. I appreciate you just saying something. Thank you.

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Hey I understand what you are saying. My problem with finding someone was I never went out of the house to be around other people. You have to make yourself available to other people. It's so hard to do I know. When I was 19 and very beautiful I dated a guy from the gas station I went to. Why because he was the only guy who I would see. He asked me out while pumping my gas. Why didn't other guys ask me out? I was home alone. So home work home get gas sometimes. You meet people where you are. My husband was the owner of the photography lab I got my pictures done at! Hahaha!!!

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@Aceland I get out all the time. Part of why I am so frustrated. I’m doing all these things I am supposed to be doing. Nothing works.

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I can relate to every word,

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@DaveW777 Thank you.

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Wish I had something more encouraging and uplifting but I'm struggling with the same thing and don't have any answers.

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@DaveW777 It’s ok. Good answers are very hard to come by these days. I just appreciate your concern.

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We care...

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@Aceland I know. I should delete my earlier comment.

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It could be that it has nothing to do with u.

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@lauren6 u see it every day in movies books plays even real life. People usually go for the big guy first the bad boy the guy who turns out treat them like shit. N they don’t realize it till rock bottom that they r meant to be with the good good guy the guy that’s always been there

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It's not just loving yourself though, you have to be dedicated to working on making yourself a better person, too. More people will see you if you have a good attitude, which is a hard thing to have when you are feeling depressed. Don't let frustrations overwhelm you! These things aren't easy and take time, which you still have. We're here for you. And this is going to be hard to take- (I've been trying to write it out all night in a way that doesn't sound mean, but you don't have to even listen ok???) but, the attitude on your initial post is incredibly negative, and if it's what you're putting out there, then no wonder you're feeling glum! Don't hate on others for finding their happiness, and just work on finding your own. You don't need to be perfect or to be in a relationship to be happy, although I know how much being with someone helps. I don't want you to feel down, I genuinely want to help this problem go away. I think that if this post you made is the attitude you're bringing to the table, then there's your problem. Sometimes the best advice is what you don't wanna hear, but know that I am NOT trying to hurt your feelings nor do I think you're not a great person. This reply is too long I wish there was a shorter way to say all this without being blunt

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@BIRDSdotJPEG This is not the attitude I bring into public. This is a support site. I say how I feel here. It is unfiltered. I miss getting affection. I’m happy with myself. I miss getting affection. Decades and decades. And I’m only 42. I miss affection. I don’t even get hugs. Much less be able to hold a woman or a woman’s hand. It would be nice one of these days.

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I was jealous of my friends who are in a relationship got married ext then one couple got divorced whent right into another relationship and the other couple my friend can't stop talking about another guy I know this is not true for everyone but we don't see the whole relationship some are in a relationship because they can't be alone they put on a show till the stage falls apart. Don't look for anyone just go out try and have fun and if you meet someone you have fun with great.

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@Hcece30 Getting something at least to hold me over instead of nothing for years would be nice. I’d rather be GIVEN THE CHANCE to be someone’s “favorite mistake” than to be nobody’s anything at all.

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Yes it is nice being with someone but if we look for anyone we will get anyone and we may come out worse then before but hey that's my optimsum.. Have you tried dating sites or classes/clubs?

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@Hcece30 Oh yeah. i was on like six dating sites for two years without even so much as one date. I even showed my profile to both trusted male and female friends so they could help me make it better. Still, nothing.

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Sorry maybe try and find a group that does something you like doing . a single person giving dating advice.. and ditto what birdsdotjpeg posted