Im stuck in limbo please help

basicaly i have been with my girlfreind for 5 years now, and we have a 4 year old son , the first 3 years where excellant , but the last 2 it went downhill, i started drinking a lot more going out all the time , and being nasty at times t. my girlfreind started going on line a lot more (which i cudnt blame her at the time bcoz she was stuck in all the time) any way basically she was spending loads of time on it to much, and i didnt read the signs as i was out most of the time , and when in was there i didnt show her the attention anymore or make love to her ,very rarely, anyway xmas 2009 she asks me if she could go to the usa to meet a freind , you know what happned next( i did question this but i guess i really wasnt noticing anyway she had a 2 week fling she came back obvisoly i didnt know this at the time, this was in march in november i heard a voicemail from this american guy saying how much he loved her and missed her , i confroted her she denied it saying he was some guy she was talking to over there freind and all that bullshit , any way i went back to work (i work away from home) i called her reacting angry about this she said it wasnt true bla bla and how she was planning to go out with freinds and stay of chatroom ( where she met this american guy from) she only had met thye guy who actually run the site and had slept with him in hotel ) basically i knew something was going i found her profile on that site , i posted a message to this guy who was as shocked as i was , anyway we split up in january i was really getting my head together moving on , when i saw my ex (which i had 2 coz i have a son with her) i reconsiled with her, we have been together since and everything has been fantastic since , she is all over me , she said she has never been so happy, as i have stopped drinking abd beibg abusive and the sex as been better than ever , but sometimes i feel sad and betrayed , and i look at her differntly, she has told me she is really sorry 4 what she done and if she could go back and undu it she would im just stuck in limbo can anyone give me some advice ?

In your place, I would not criticize the young lady, because your behavior was not perfect ether. The reality is, if you want to have a good and decent life, start anew and do not look back. What is done is done. Your option is the future and can be a wonderful future, it is all depends on you. You have to close the door on your past, otherwise it is no use for the future together. Think well and God bless you.

i know , i shouldnt to be fair to both of us , we never had chance to be a couple properly , as she fell pregnant after just 3 months , and we had a child and all the pressures that came with it and we drifted apart, i love her more than anyone (apart from my son whos love is unconditional), were only now becoming a couple again now, we both love each other and are guinelly good people, i know i was to blame to , but everything is so fresh its hard to let go ( as its only been 7 months since i discovered everything) but im trying my best thanks

John, I'm w/Marcie on this one as you mentioned creating distance early on by going out alot & drinking so you have no one to blame but yourself for her turning else where for companionship, closeness, security, someone to spend life with as she questioned her relationship & family ties, thats only normal & now you've admitted the distance & are working on correcting it with eachother, I admire you for that, so do give eachother much needed time, understanding & communication together while you grow from the past experience & learn how to treat eachother better in the future otherwise you'll create more distance by trying to badger her into talking about it too much as you already have the answer as to why.

Keep supporting eachother & ask eachother what you can do to make eachothers day better everyday.

All my strengths friend.


thankyou april i know you and marcie are right, things have been much better lately , am trying to let go of the past, im getting there , i love my girlfreind and my son very much , and i will battle my hardest to make it work , thank you for your great advice