Im thinking bout walking away from my best friend. I can't take my best friend bailing out his son every time. I can't deal with anything anymore. Im tired of being put last in everyone's life. Im not important to anyoneanymore. It disgusts me to watch a father keep on bailing out their child when they don't want to take responsibility for anything. I have to.make a decision that i really don't want to make n i know that my best friend will not make any effort to keep me around. He's putting all effort into his son. The dad is 60 yrs old. I told him if something ever happens to him his son will b dead in a day or 2 guaranteed.
Hi, that's a rough problem, with lots to juggle in your head. You say this guy is your best friend. Is there anything you like about him? Will you miss him if you stop socializing with him?
@L2015. I love everything bout him. He’s ok most of the time but he won’t let go of his son. It’s disturbing. The son has severe mental problems n is where he’s at 4 a reason. I guess i just want 2 b the center of attention. Im tired of competing with a junkie. I shouldn’t have to. The dad has or should i say have better sense than to constantly feed into this crap. Im tired of being put last even though the dad says im not.
Hi Angel, so many get stuck in this pattern. We think that by rescuing our child, we will fix the problem, even when that child is now a full adult. It's hard. But as you are experiencing, it usually has the opposite effect. It allows the child to continue the behavior because he knows that his dad will be there to rescue him. Enabling someone who keeps making bad choices just drives the person further down even though the intention is to make it better. It is also sucking the life out of your best friend, and of course, hurting you to watch. You might want to share how you feel with him, tell him why you are concerned for him and his son, and if you need to, take a break for a while. You may need a break from watching this. You can suggest that they both see a counselor. If there is addicition, there are a lot of groups that can help his son. There are a lot of groups for parents of kids, no matter their age, that are making bad choices. Sadly, you are not going to change either one of them. The only thing you can change is how you respond to it. Take care of you. Pray for both of them. I wish you well.
@HopeandMoreHope. I have shared many time’s with my bf. It has put a strain on us. I understand this is his child his flesh n blood he created this person but u also have to let go at a certain point. You have to let people fight their own battles. I have my own place. My father passed away when I was just twelve years old my mother has been gone for almost seven. My father taught me a lot while he was alive my mother finished raising me. I do what I have to to survive and I am trying to get my best friend the father to worry about himself as he wants to retire in the next couple of years he is 60 years old. I have made numerous suggestions that if he does not turn his life around soon he will be in trouble. I understand everyone has a lot going on in their lives anymore you keep plugging along making the right decisions or try to anyway. His son is 27 going on 28 he can be and is very smart in certain ways but in The Game of Life he is not. All he wants to do is run from the law play games not work. I just try n help out when i can. I enjoy spending time with my bf but thing’s have 2 come to an end soon. My bf also has a daughter who’s in North Carolina. She recently got married to someone who’s been married before n has a 9 yr old son. That situation is a mess as well. There’s so much violence in the world i can’t stand it. Im religious but i don’t push it on anyone but i feel Thing’s that No one else does. I have patience for alot of thing’s. My bf n i help each other out in many different ways. We have been together for over 3 yrs. He will eventually find out the hard way as well. We all do. Thank all of you for understanding n helping.