Im troubled. i have had ED for 5years and also married for 5

Im troubled. i have had ED for 5years and also married for 5years. Took long to address this issue and it is now affecting my marriage. Been to the doctor and was given some pills to try out next check up is in a months time. Problem is wife is tired of trying sex cause she hasn't been satisfied in years. Can't do it any other way cause shes a type that needs the actual hard *****. Please help

1 Heart

Odd she feels that way. Intimacy is intimacy. Though you didn't say if the pills are working?

1 Heart

Thanks for the response Jim111. Can't really tell if the pills are working or not. For the past three days I have been taking them even though I know she won't want to and I feel like something is happening. But haven't fully put it onto practice yet.

People tend to think pills give a man an instant erection. If your not excited they won't work. For the time being, take care of yourself, just to make sure it all works. Shell come around once she knows things ate fine.

I will also try to explain the situation to my doc. hopefully he will understand. Thanks jim111

I understand.. my boyfriend and I have had the same problem... when I was married my ex.. had the same issue.. unfortunately. Sexually I wasn't satisfied either.. At least my boyfriend.. is still intimate with me which is more than my ex. He just gave up... So I just had a marriage without any intimacy at all.. That put the final nails in the coffin among other issues. I have the issue with my boyfriend and since he is intimate in other ways, it helps... but I dont want a normal sex life with my man. I can't help it... having sex and dealing with all the frustation... he gets upset and mad at himself even though I tell him it is ok... we can try other things.. kills the mood and makes me not want to do it at all.

@SEEgirl1 I mean I do want a normal sex life with my man… sorry about the typo…

@SEEgirl1 she hardly agrees to getting intimate since i can't satisfy her. she doesn't like to try other means so as a result i'm left with no options. i would still like us to be intimate but we just man and woman sharing a bad.

I understand. It is really hard. My boyfriend told me that exercise, getting his diabetes under control will help. He tried cialsis but it didn't work. Now he is trying viagra.. after than then I think there is one more product.. Also, if that doesn't work.. they have shots but he has to put it directly in the penis. She is upset.. she should try to be more understanding.. Five years is a while. You can't help it.. Having no intimacy is hard on you too... My boyfriend and I do everything else but we just can't do that... It functions but doesn't get hard enough for penetration... (I hope I am not saying too much.. sorry if I am).

@ SEEgirl1 I'm not a shy type so feel free. I'm just starting to get some hope from just knowing that other couples can still get intimate. I had convinced myself that this could be the end of my marriage with the lady in madly in love with. I just couldn't see how she could stay strong resisting temptations since we are a young couple. So maybe I'm giving myself too much pressure. But well done to you guys. You seem happy regardless of the problem

I am probably a bit older, I'm in my 40s... so I run into this quite a bit now with men. My boyfriend has had this issue since we met so we haven't actually had... penetrative sex... either. There is plenty of things that you can do to satisfy her... orally... using your fingers, tongue and things like that... as long as you doing have too many hangups... and as long as she doesn't either.. you should be fine.. My boyfriend pays attention to me, how I feel and my body... everywhere and I mean everywhere.. toys can do what you body can't... I do miss that type of sex..but I am pretty happy.. he is a good man to me outside of the bed too.. and it allows me to be more open and accepting. I mean, a lot of men think that sex is only just jumping on someone and penetrating them..being selfish.. taking care of only their needs. but this way you are actually being blessed to see that sex is much much more than that.. it is connecting with someone.. My boyfriend used to try and try.. and that just frustrated me as well as him.. Also.. it took me out of the mood.. gosh. I stopped wanting to do it too... We talked and he told me that he wants me to want him... he wants to feel wanted by me. I told him sex is supposed to be fun... not a JOB!... Relax..

We are still looking into other pills (we are now going to try viagra - remember you have to take with without food in the stomach.. there are things you have to do to get it to work the best) and things we can do to get him working again and I will be ready... but until then I have 2-3 orgasms now when we are together..... pretty satisfied to me... :) (hope I don't get thrown off the site for being so blunt)

also, if she doesn't even allow you to do that... maybe counseling would be your next step.. so someone else can talk to her to get her to open up..

I know right where you are...I am there with you. I have been a diabetic for a long time and now I have had ED for the past two years and nothing has helped...pills, the shot, depositories...nothing. My wife will soon end up being an ex cause she is getting anything from me...I went to the VA to have the blood pressure stays too high and my a1c is too high also so no surgery. Its been a year in March, I am desperate and dont know what to do. I do know what you are dealing with but have not found a clue to a cure.

counseling... that will help... both of you so she can get her feelings out.. also, a counselor will be able to help you all figure out other ways to be intimate and satisfying to each other...