Image from the past was haunting me

I had to force myself to go in to the shop today. I tried to get one of my twins to go with me, but neither would.

It is getting harder and harder to do anything when I am alone. It doesn't bother me as much when I am home, but going anywhere alone is such a struggle.

For some reason, and incident from about 8 years ago came into my mind today, and I couldn't shake it.

The incident was that my daughter, her kids, and I were going out to see my mom, and a friend of mine had called me before we left and asked us to check on his mom for him. His mother lived near to mine, and he had been expecting to hear from her that morning, and hadn't been able to reach her. When we got there, his mom's car was there, but there was no answer at the door. I called my friend, and he directed me to one of the neighbor's to get a key for his mom's house. When we got in to the house, we found his mother, dead, on her bathroom floor.

The image of her body lying there just came into my head for some reason, and I couldn't stop thinking that the same thing would happen to me - dying alone on a floor.

Why in the world did that image from so long ago even come in to my head, and why couldn't I shake it?

So I went into the shop anyway, and did manage to do a little bit of work, but could not manage the anxiety, so I left after a couple of hours.

Can anyone else relate to this at all? I haven't been taking my Zoloft for a while so that could be a part of why I haven't been dealing with things lately. I will try to remember to start taking it again, but I don't want to be reliant on meds the rest of my life.

I'm so sorry these images are coming into focus, stress sometimes is usually a factor or something within that one fears would bring it on so keep talking about it & processing what your experiencing & go easy on yourself as there are reasons for this happening.

All my strengths.

April