In emotional pain

I have never had very many friends but its always been okay with me because i prefer quality over quantity. My best friend in college and one of the only people i have fully trusted and had a deep connection with has completely stopped talking to me. There was so much drama at the end of last year with a lot of girls and with her boyfriend and i was there for her through it all. I was dealing with my own issues too of course like social anxiety and orthorexia but i always thought she really cared and we went through so much together. We ended college on good terms but she gradually just stopped contacting me and never returned my texts anymore. She started talking to the girls she had so much drama with at school. It was so painful to see on facebook that i just defriended her about a week ago because i couldn't take seeing her talking to all the fake people that had caused so many problems when she wouldn't even talk to me. Today i got on facebook and she had blocked me so i can't even see her profile anymore. I feel like an ice pick has been jabbed into my heart. I feel like i'm an idiot and that she never really cared about our friendship. Situations like this make it even harder for me to let people in, i'm scared i will be lonely and miserable for my entire life.

Hey American Beauty,
I really feel for you, being isolated from a friend is so painful. Do you have anyone else to turn too?

A friend is person who makes you feel good inside, who you can turn to in times of sadness and happiness. Who offers sound advice and won't judge you...even on a really bad fashion decision :) in light of that, can you really call this person a friend?

Now i would say she blocked you because you defriended her...but she really should have inquired instead of taking such a hasty action.

This girl obviously makes you feel bad about yourself. So what you should do say..."right I've cared for you enough, it's now time to take care of me". and you really have to harness the energy you are giving out and put into making you feel good about yourself...because sweetie you deserve, not to feel pushed around and defeated but to feel good.

And keeping negative people close, will never allow that to happen.

So will you just give yourself a little break and keep coming here for support. You are a good person, you deserve to be respected and treated as such.

Thinking of you
Moongal x

No i don't have any friends.. she was my best and only friend but i do have some family members that i know i can talk to. It hurts bad but you are right i just need to try to focus all my energy on taking care of myself. Maybe one day when i am in a much better place i can reach out to her and repair our relationship. I was always more worried about helping her with her problems than fixing my own.

Thank you very much for your advice and kind words you made me feel a lot better!

Dear American Beauty,

I too do not have alot of friends. Maybe just one and I would say we are not that close anymore where I would confide to her with my problems. I too, just listen to what she has to say and hear her problems. I fear if I would mention any of my problems she would just distance us. I also do not have alot of people to talk to. I did however, just start seeing a therapist and seems to be helping so far. What also helps is being here and turning to others for support. It is nice to know there are so many people out there willing to listen and offer their support. Keep open communications and believe in yourself and know that you can overcome any obstacles life has to offer. I will keep in touch with you. Take care for now. DAT

Ah sweetie,
You seem like such a lovely person, you don't deserve to feel like that at all. You should absolutely turn to your family and you know it's never too late to make new friends too.

There is only so much you can give to someone and not get anything back, without falling apart and that goes for all types of relationships.

So i would say take good care of yourself, realise that you deserve a lot better and much more respect, and maybe start seeking other ways to make new friends, because I know you can do it. I know it may seem a little scary at first...but it's amazing once you push yourself just a little how easily things can come.

I hope you are feeling a little better. Keep talking hun, we are here for you.

Love to you
Moongal x

hey i am trying to reach out and i dont want to give up that always happen to me, what do i do, i trying meet up online as well…i just dont want to give up, i have a hard time reaching out, i would rather just give up all together…i just dont how this works. please help

Thank you so much to everyone who commented! Knowing that others out there have or are experiencing the same thing is very comforting and gives me a lot of hope. I am really going to try to work on reaching out and meeting new people even though it seems very stressful and scary i can see now that it will be good for me in the long run :)
jj1234- i think we might be twins lol. thanks for your support and know that you are not alone either i'm here for you too.

Americanbeauty, thank you so much for sharing your story. Wow, you have no idea how much it resonates with me. About 2 months ago, I went through a very painful situation. I met a girl through a close friend of mine and really let her into my life immediately. She seemed so sincere and so compassionate, which made it easy to let her into my circle of trust. From the onset, she opened up to me and it went from there. She would call me everyday venting about this that and the other; it seemed that her problems were endless and I became her therapist. I was happy to be there for her. I even had her back when an acquaintance back-stabbed her and was incredibly hurtful towards her. It seems that once she found other friends, she moved on and away from me. Her communication with me was minimal and always at her convenience. She never ever asked how I was doing or was there for me in any way, it was a one-way street. I came to find out [because the truth always comes out] that she is a friend of convenience and a total opportunist. I was so incredibly hurt by this, though all of the signs had been there. She was incredibly selfish. After she completely shut herself out of my life, I saw her communicating with the acquaintance who had back-stabbed her and was incredibly hurtful towards her. So, here I was, a friend through and through that she threw out like last night's trash and welcomed the back stabber with open arms. Wow, what an eye opening experience. This showed me that I will err with caution when allowing new people into my life now and will keep them at arm's length until I can trust them. I have an amazing family and a hand full of close friends, beyond that...everyone is an acquaintance. I love getting out there and meeting new people, and am always open to making new friends, but I take these new relationships slowly and always keep my eyes open.

As well, I am a huge believer in quality over quantity as well, and have learned to differentiate between friends and acquaintances. I have a hand-full of close friends, and keep everyone else at arms length for very specific reasons. Before, I used to have such a large group of friends and it only came with constant drama, drama, drama. So, I started to weed out the drama queens and only allowed my true friends in.

You will meet amazing people who are so worthy of your friendship. Make sure that it is a two-way street; where they are there for you as much as you are for them. Of course, at times friends need us more and at times we need them more. Though, as long as it's balance, that's all that matters. I know that if I ever needed anything, my true friends would be there in a flash.

Wishing you all of the very best and sending you tons of positive energy.