I’m the father of a 7 year old son who is the product of an affair my wife had with a former friend of mine. For the last 2 years, he has begged to be part of the child’s life. My wife is adamantly opposed because I think it reminds her of the mistakes she’s made. It’s painful to me as well, but I want to be fair to a man who was once a friend. We have introduced him to our son as an old friend of mine and that is it, but we’ve told him we will think about more.
I know this is a weird situation. I think most men in my situation would be threatened, but I’m not because I know no matter what genetics might say that I’m his father. However, I also want to be fair to a man who used to be my friend. Is there a way that we can include the “bio dad” without confusing and hurting my son?
This is a tough place you are in. Did this man sign over parental rights to you? Have you talked with a professional at all? I think it’s great you want to be fair to a person who treated you so poorly. I think that speaks well of your accepting your son as the innocent party that he is. I’m sorry it will make your wife uncomfortable but those are the adult consequences of adult choices.
I hope you are able to find a place for this man who deserves a chance at being in his sons’ life. Your son can benefit from having a larger group of people who love him.
Have you thought of the consequences to your boy when he’s older and finds out?
I am so sorry that you are at this crossroad. I urge you to speak with someone specializing with children. They will help guide your conversations, should you choose to have them. Best of luck!