I'm a newbee here. my son's family is weighing very heavily on me right now. I love my children, and all their spouses and offspring more than I can say. Yesterday I drove 70 miles to babysit my grandson (7 yrs old) for the afternoon after he played his little league game. Arriving at their home - no one actually greated me - just let me in the door. For the next hour (extra time prior to his game) no one said anything to me. If I asked a question it was answered with the least amount of words. I followed my DIL in my car to the game. My only conversation (one sided) was to praise my grandson for his skill in the game. After the game, back at their house the mother and grandaughter packed for their excursion and left. I told the 7 year old that we would go over to his uncles house so he could play with his two little cousins and go swimming. (I arranged this thinking he would enjoy it). He told me in no uncertain terms "NO! I'm not going!" I tried for several minutes to persuade him how fun it would be, to no avail. At that point I told him "in no uncertain terms" to get his butt off the couch and put his shoes on and come with me. He did, but he was very mad and when outside yelled at his mother, who was driving back by the house after picking someone up, that I was being mean to him. So now I'm going to be austrasized (sp?) big time. I adore my grandchildren and I have tried to be a good MIL, apparently not doing so good in the MIL department. I know my son just wants me to do whatever my dil wants in any situation, but sometimes I don't know what that is. I'm also not good with being talked back to by grandchildren or being disrespected. What Should I do? I'm heart broken.
Hi, I'm sorry for this. Not knowing too much, it sounds like you are not really being appreciated or respected too much, and it is a shame that your son is not stepping up for you too much right now. It sounds as if your daughter in law has some resentment towards you, but is not being open at discussing with you. Would it help to talk to your son and tell him your view of what happened? Do you know why your grandson didn't want to go to his uncles house? Its possible he has a legitimate reason, I know that I had one cousin i couldn't stand being around when I was little, and I was always lumped together with her because we were close in age, but she was not at all someone I wanted to be around. It sounds like alot of misunderstandings that are building ontop of eachother. I guess if it were me, I might start with my son and see how that goes. Gosh, just sorry, and hope this helps :-)
Thank you Aila, What you say sounds very possible. I think I will approach my son at the next opportunity. I feel a little shy at calling him right at this minute. I'll give it a few days, then call. I know I'm bad about speaking my thoughts sometime, and that may be what my DIL is unhappy about. I do know my DIL does not appear to discipline with any consistency. The 7 year old seems to get the brunt of any that is handed out. Both children are allowed to talk back to their parents. Anyway, I'm somewhat old fashioned in these matters and I find it very uncomfortable. After I talk to my son, and making peace, I'm thinking I probably need to avoid the whole scene. We made plans to take the two grandchildren on a Disney Cruise this summer (when we told them (parents) then they called back and said they really wanted to do that too and wanted to come with us, so it'll be the 6 of us now). I had been looking forward to spending quality time with the kids because they are "usually" well behaved when just with us. So now I'm not sure about any of it. The Cruise has been booked and paid for so "what will be, will be". I've actually been thinking of letting others relatives take our (grandparents) place, but I'm pretty sure my husband would not agree. I guess Grandpa's don't get their feelings hurt like Grandma's.