Intro

Hi everyone. I wanted to introduce myself and kinda tell my story. I have been an alcoholic since age 19 (I'm now 36). I have anxiety and have used alcohol as a way to self-medicate. I now have a young child and I know I cannot keep drinking. I am the high-functioning type who manages to keep a professional full time job, take classes, exercise, take care of baby, etc...as long as I can have a drink in the evenings. That drink always turns into several drinks. I also chain smoke while drinking - double whammy.

I got married 6 years ago. My husband and I courting relationship consisted of going to happy hours - almost every night. We had a blast and I felt I met the perfect person for me. However when I got pregnant and could no longer drink - things have completely changed in our relationship. He still goes to the happy hours. I am here with the baby and start drinking to calm my anxiety. I have a feeling that if I decide to quit drinking once and for all - for good - I will realize I do not want to be married to my husband any longer.
I actually don't believe he is an alcoholic, he likes the social aspect of hanging out at bars and never drinks at home. Just knowing he is out drinking at bars makes me want to drink.

I'm kind of rambling now. Just looking for some support:) I went to AA one time years ago and I did not enjoy the experience but may consider it again.

Anyone on here from the Northern VA area?

Thanks for listening,

Dawn

Hey Dawn....I sent u a message,,,,,, Hope all is okay guess I will have a diet coke tonight .....suxxxxxx but I hate the hangover feelings. I know what its like being alone .....I am a military wifey. Keep up with the posts.

dayone

Hi dawnAnderson, Welcome to SupportGroups.com . I am in central NC. If you wish to stop drinking, then checking AA out again is a good idea. You might also think about checking out AA meetings online. These are a couple of links for online AA meetings:
http://www.aaonline.net/
http://www.stepchat.com/

I did online AA meetings along with face to face ones. I especially did the AA online meetings when my kids were younger. Can you talk to your husband about his going out to the bars for happy hour? Maybe ask that he not go as much? Keep us posted on how you are doing. We are here for you. ((((hugs))))

Hi Dawn:
I dont live in VA but I can identify with your story. I'm also single with a son and a high functing alcoholic and have been on the fence with making a true commitment to AA but still attend. My drinking has been less than I can ever remember but still want to have some drinks on Friday or Saturday night. Only few days ago I broke up with a boyfriend of 9 years and both of us ruined our relationship because of alcohol. He stopped and I'm still drink. I decided to make a one week commitment to my sponsor and still work the program. I'm not always happy about the program but it has helped me. Like me you need to make a decision do you want to stop?? It's not easy for me either. Good luck

Hi everyone, I'm new to this site and just wanted to say I can relate to you all as well. I never thought I was an alcoholic because I don't wake up wanting a drink and I don't really drink alone that much, but when it seems like when I do drink, I want to get really drunk and won't stop until I am. This has caused several embarrassing situations and many blackouts, but for some reason I continue to drink all the time. I too went to an AA meeting but didn't like the structure at all. It is nice to have an online support group to be able to share my feelings with as I don't feel comfortable discussing this with anyone else.

Hi:
I can identify with you. There are some meeting’s I dont share at and others I do. I dont go to one place for a meeting I go to 4 different places because some meeting have nicer people than others. I have been around the rooms for about a year and a half and have not made a true commitment until 19 days ago and thats how many days I have sober. I still think about drinking. The tast and feeling and how that feels. I truly believe I would still be drinking if I haven’t done a few screwed up things and my son didn’t get up set when I drank. The best part of this is that my son goes to college in 2 years and that I’m leaving NY to live somewhere warm all year around, living on the water and having drinks at night. How sick is that thinking? One day at a time.

Lorraine

Hi guys. Saw this post and wanted to chime in. I lived a long life as a functioning alcoholic, until I wasn't functioning any more. I am 2 years sober and still fighting the urges.

I am on this support group because all I want to do right now is have a couple of drinks to put myself to sleep (it's 11PM and I have had a crappy week). I know that I have a lot to lose if I go back to drinking, but sometimes it feels like nothing at all. What do I have that I would miss? Sometimes I have a great answer for that question and I praise sobriety, but there are also nights like this where I don't think that I have much at all, and a drink would just help me sleep.

So I'm doing what I am supposed to do; experiencing the lonliness, crying, not buying alcohol, petting my dog and trying to remember all the benefits of sobriety. It's hard, but it helps to know that there are others out there who can't sleep tonight.

Just learning how to live sober,peaceful life.