Is any one else a loved one of someone incarcerated?

Is any one else a loved one of someone incarcerated?

1 Heart

1) Take it one day at a time — Your body, mind and spirit are totally consumed with pain. Focus on today, tomorrow will come soon enough.

2) Drop the feeling of “normal” — Nothing is going to be normal for quite some time because what you are going through is not “normal.” As time moves forward, you will adjust and experience a new “normal”.

3) Brace yourself for many loses — The loss of a loved one in your daily life can start a domino effect of losses. Personal possessions will be given away. Relationships with friends and other family members may be strained. Don’t be alarmed if one loss seems to escalate until you feel overwhelmed.

4) Tell people what you need — people will not know how to relate to your loss. Be specific about your wants and needs. Ask for help.

5) Remember to eat — grieving affects the mind in many ways. It requires a lot of energy. You may not be hungry, you may forget to eat, but you need to keep your strength.

6) Sleep when you can — Your sleep most likely will be affected by your loss. You need sleep to function mentally and physically. Take a nap if you are tired. Try sleeping in a different place in the house if you cannot sleep in your bed. See your doctor is sleeplessness continues.

7) Crying is okay — Let the tears flow either when you are alone or in public. Crying is a natural outlet to grief.

8) Exercise every day — Exercising will help you deal with the multitude of emotions that are rippling through your body. It will also help you sleep at night.

9) Seek support early — Get support through family, friends or a grief counselor. You don’t have to walk through this alone.

10) Lean on your faith — If you are a spiritual person, remember to touch base with your faith. It will bring comfort, strength and internal wisdom. If you have no belief system, then get in touch with nature. The beauty of the world around us can be very soothing. Your faith will help your loved one cope better with being incarcerated.

1 Heart

I wish I would have heard this 7 years ago when he went in.
He has been in and out a lot. His enabling mother does not help this situation and I'm, once again, preparing for him to be released but having to live near her. The system has almost eaten us alive.

1 Heart

@ChaoticUmbrellas I am so sorry you are dealing with this and yes it has to be very hard but I hope this helped you out a bit. Stay strong always here if you need to chat. Big hugs xo

I am not strong against his mom and she won't work to be a team of support.

1 Heart

Yes I was. It feels horrible and embarassing doesn't it? Truth is no one is immune to messing up and facing legal consequences. But the shame is there. Visiting takes an act of courage to go through humiliation like that. Writing can feel like hope and a chore. The short phone calls ease the pain until the click. Then the doubts creep in. Just like you were in prison too. Time passes slowly unless you have something to do. Consider this a pause. Because for the one in prison it is until they get out and catch up. That's rare these days. But YOU have to stay real, really real. Believe nothing said. Take all letters with a grain of salt. Stay in reality because it's easy to make promises without seeing them through.

2 Hearts

@Omniphish I agree with everything but the embarassing part. It’s not embarassing that he is in prison- it’s sad. I’ve done my time in my own prison- being mentally alone. Going to activities and just wishing he was there to share everything with.