Is it normal to want to be a child again?

[etoile23]

I wasn't sure if this is was abuse but I think it's the closest category I can put it into. Ever since I was young, my mom would call me things like I was 'stupid,' 'useless,' or other variants. She and dad would tell me I was overreacting/being oversensitive when I'd try to defend myself.

I was left home alone a lot as a child (something like 7 hours). I'd go to school, then when I came home, both of my parents had to go to work. By the time they returned, I would be asleep. On a regular basis I probably saw them for about 45 minutes a day. They work through the weekend too.

So the thing is, I just want to be a child again - I long for comfort and for once to just be looked after since I've always had to be independent. Is that normal?

[Suzee]

HI etoile, Welcome to support groups!! I'm sorry for how things have gone for you, but I am glad you found this place! It's a safe, comfortable, non-judgmental place to be!!

I'm sorry your parents weren't able to nurture you and were verbally abusive. There are alot of people here in the groups, that have been abused as well so please know that you are not alone!

I want to tell you that when I was a kid, my father, who was an alcoholic, said things too, that were hurtful. I was a very shy kid. Terribly shy and I do think it had something to do with the things he said when I was a kid. He has apolgized a million times now... I am 45 and there isn't a month that goes by that he doesn't apologize.

I guess it came down to the fact, that my Mom fought my Dad about the way he treated us so we knew it wasn't ok. Then I married a very abusive, mean man. He abused me in every way possible. My choice in men probably had something to do with my fathers abuse as well. I've just recently left the abuse in January so I am still quite new in recovering from years of nastiness! I'm learning alot about myself and why I made the choices I did.

The people here are great and I can't wait for you to meet them. This is a big, big place with many, many people and support groups so please don't feel bad if your posts get "lost" sometimes and you feel unheard. Just keep posting and you will meet people in similar situations and you will begin to feel like family here!!

Also, feel free to join as many support groups as you want. The more groups you are in, the more people will see it and then you have a greater chance of meeting the people you can relate too!! I would like to suggest you also join the "emotional abuse" group, maybe the "depression" group (because most of the time living with any abuse causes depression and anxiety), and even the "anxiety" group... and any other groups you can relate to in any way. IT's not a failure to relate to many of the groups... again, this is the safe place to look for answers, recieve support and learn to break the cycles.

I'm amazed at how much better I feel knowing that others relate to my story. I hope you feel the same way in time!!

Welcoming hugs, Suzee

[etoile23]

Hi Suzee, thanks for your response. I'm glad to know that there are others who have experienced this also; I don't feel so alone in this. It's kind of difficult to acknowledge that what my parents did was kind of abuse, I guess. But at the end of the day, I think that's what it comes down to. So thank you for helping me realize that.

I hope you are much happier since you left the abuse you suffered. I imagine that it was a difficult thing to do so congratulations on that.

Thank you for the advice -- I will be sure to take you up on that.

Take care.

[HealedbyFaith]

etoile, so sorry your childhood was like that. Neglect and verbal abuse can be just as damaging as physical abuse, bruise you can feel but not see. When my mom raised me she went through her growing up phase. She was partying and left me with who ever. Well, the who evers sexual abused me. She was drunk a lot, probably why I am the way I am. She was married 5 times. Brought men home all the time. I can tell you though, I have no idea how I have a normal marriage after being raised like that. She did not alter my view on how marriage and relationships should be nor did she stop me from being a Christian and keeping the faith.
I too have wanted to be a kid again and have a nurturing mother. Just a chance to relive it a better way. I show my children tons of love, almost smothering LOL!
Welcome to support groups, you are gonna love it here! You are not alone!