Is it possible for me to get better even if I could careless if this ED kills me?I don't know why I feel this way, but was wondering if I can ever get better through professional help if I could careless about me. I wish I did care about me, but I don't. That has been concerning me but I am willing to try to get help if it can help me, but not sure if getting help will help if I could careless. Sorry I'm repeating myself, not sure how to put this in words.
Just feeling depressed over some things, but than trying to stay positive in hopes that I can pull myself out of this. It's as though I find myself wanting to lose this weight and so many people are already concerned about my weight loss. I had several people come up to me yesterday at church asking me if I've been losing weight and encouraging me to eat. I don't want to eat anymore and instead I want to lose this weight :( *Sigh* I just wish I'd feel better and myself to care about me.
I just wanted to know if there is hope. Thanks for reading...
I know that there is a ton of hope for you; I have hope for you and believe in you. I know that professional help will definitely give you the format and platform through which you will start to see the greatest benefits of recovery, and this will equate to your wanting to be healthy. I know that you can do this. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Hello my friend, hello. There are so many positive aspects about you. So sad that when you are feeling down you become one dimensional in your thoughts and lose track of the good that you are. Olivia, you are an amazing person and you must NEVER lose sight of that fact. You support and bring joy and hope to so many people on this site that you should be given a place of honour on the top throne. You are allowed to feel down and have bad days but, PLEASE remember who you are and what a wonderful person you are. You have so much to offer and the world would be a poorer place if you decide to withdraw and not share with us.
You CAN beat this, I know because you have accepted the problem and are willing to work at getting through it. You have come to a site where the sole purpose of those here is to help you through your crisis and really, you bring more to this site than you take from it.
Please stay strong and re-affirm all the good things about yourself daily. Don't dwell on negative.
You may FEEL hopeless, but you are NOT hopeless! I beleive you do want to be free from this, or you would not continue to seek support and offer support here.
Very few people can 'pull themselves out' without a very specific plan for treatment/recovery, no matter how motivated you are. Of course you don't WANT to eat, but if you are going to be free and recovered, you must. No way around it. Once you do it for a few days, your mind will amaze you by how much clearer you can think and how much brighter your mood will be.
So, what step can you take today to get yourself the help you need? Action can help a great deal toward feeling more hopeful, even if it's painful and hard.
Wishing you well...Jan ♥
Thank you everyone to reassure me there is hope. Been so depressed and so deep into the ED, I'm not even sure how to pull myself out of it. Instead each day I try to find newer ways of not wanting to eat and finding every distraction I can so I don't eat - so I can lose more and more weight. I can't stop. I know I can't stop, not on my own. I know I need help, but than again I don't want it so I can lose more and more weight. I'm afraid to gain. I'm afraid I'll lose control. I'm scared to death about all this and I don't know how to stop. I'm so happy you all are here :) Thank you :) Just not sure what to do anymore. In some ways, I feel powerless over all this. And I want to cry.
I understand how you are feeling, but try to take it one small step at a time. Have you shared this with your husband yet? If so, ask him to help you find a treatment facility in your area that you can start attending in order to work towards recovery. We are always here for you, we are here to help you in any way that we can, you are never alone.
Thanks for listening and all your help. I haven't talked to my husband much about this. I guess I don't like to worry anyone. Trying to hang in there... feel horrible already, ate, and feel bad about it :( Hope your doing well
Hi Olivia, Cry. Often a good cry eases the stress and allows you to see things clearer through 'washed' eyes. Can you see my shoulder? I have cleared it for you. Sometimes it feels as though you are in a deep black hole into which no light can penetrate. Remember that love can triumph over any obstacle, even a black hole. We are all sending our love to lift you out of that place where you find yourself at the moment. Use each one's bit of love as a small stepping stone to reach the next level.
Remember your affirmations.
You are beautiful
You are so needed here
You can do it
You are stronger than this demon
Thank you :) just disappointed in myself. hope everyone is well