Is it wrong that I've always told myself and still tell myse

Is it wrong that I've always told myself and still tell myself that I will live only up to the age of 25?

Hi Nenaa, I don't think it's "wrong" as in "evil." But I think it is inaccurate. It sounds like superstitious thinking, like being convinced that if you see a black cat, you'll have bad luck. When or why did you first start thinking this?

@L2015 I think of this because I’m suicidal and always told myself at 25 ill end all my pain

I don't think it is wrong but sad, I never imagined too far into the future when I was in highschool because in the back of my head I had this thought aswell that I would be dead before I really grew up

@clearskys3 yeah I don’t want to grow up I have too much fear for the future

I have always thought I wouldn't have a long life, then my mom passed away at the age of 58, so I have been living my life like I would die at about the same age, when I was younger my cousin and I would say we would be part of the 27 club, of course that didn't happen. Granted I have thought about killing myself since I was 14, I just don't have it in me to do it. Everyone is different about how they deal with life and death. One concern I have is if you have a plan to end it then. If you feel that you would naturally die at that age. It's not a harmful thought, Just a sad one.

@Frustrated-Daughter I actually have a suicidal plan but I still need to fix it and 25 was always the age I though of going thru with my plan… its sad but I don’t feel sad about it at all I just feel like I am supposed to end it all at that age

@theriverbends yes I have… I was sexually abused as a child

@Nenaa I am 25 now almost 26 very sad you feel this way. I was assaulted at the age of 10 you have to hang in there and be strong. Here to talk anyway

Hi Nenaa, Thanks for explaining. Now that I have read all of the above, I understand a little better what you meant by you never saw yourself as living past the age of 25. When you wrote that you had been sexually abused as a child, the light went on in my head. I experienced sexual abuse as a child. I have a bunch of close friends who were also. I have learned from my many discussions with them, and from reading a lot about it. What I realize is that your lifelong conviction that you would only live to 25, and that you should kill yourself at 25, and that you have a plan ready ---. I hope I am not being too forward to say this. Would it be OK if I said that to me you look like a textbook case of childhood sexual abuse. In other words, I'd bet good money that your attitudes about yourself, life, death, killing yourself, etc. are all a direct outcome of the terrible things you endured as a sexual abuse survivor. I don't know how that feels to read that. Do you have some gut feeling about my comment? Like, gee, yeah, gosh, that might be right? Or what? I hope it was ok that I have written so forthrightly.