Is there any way to know if she is cheating on me?

I recently posted about my wife texting my divorced neighbor when I was out of town working. I confronted her and she said they were just purley platonic. She said he is not her type. I also confronted my neighbor and told him and my wife to end whatever texting relationship they had with one another. The next day I left for work out of town and hoped for the best. I checked the cell phone bill and found that they texted from morning to night. I once again confronted her and him. Both of them said there was nothing there and they would stop. Two weeks have gone by and I see no evidence that they are communicating with one another. Have they just changed methods? I don't know if she is talking to him from another cell phone or work? This situation is driving me crazy. Does anyone have any suggestions?

If you hope to keep a healthy relationship, you need to trust that she is being true to her word. Otherwise you may be pushing something that is currently somewhat innocent into a situation you won't be happy with. You need to be able to trust her, and she needs to be able to trust you and to know that you trust her once again. If she betrays that trust by another means and you later find out...then she is the one to blame. Don't drive yourself crazy wondering. Move on...

Yes please dont over think it as that will only open doors that you may not want to open. You hadnt really mentioned WHY you sense something IS amiss if there hadnt been any cause in the past in regards to your wife to suspect something. Usually when someone is this adamant about an affair its because THEY have done this in the past.....just a thought. Maybe they really are just being friends & when one meets new friends they always talk etc, etc until the friendship is going on for a long time frame.

What we fear, we create.

p.s. I did respond to your other post but that sounded more like she might be missing something in the relationship, the way you'd described it.


If you can afford it hire a private invesgtigator to follow her and see what she's up to when you're not around. The secret cell phone would be my guess. That's how I caught my wife. Today it's easy and common to have an unrecorded cell phone. The pay as you go phone is the cheaters preference. No bills, no records. I hate to say it, but I see all the signs of a cheater in your wife and you shouldn't stick your head in the sand and pretend it's not so. You have a right to know if she's living a secret life behiind your back. Knowing the truth is the most important thing.

My husband did a pay as you go cell phone that he left at work to communicate with his ***!! I believe that if she has nothing to hide she would have let you read all the messages and said see here this is what its about!! Make sure you are showing attention to your wife because that could be something he is offering her! Tell her how beautiful she is, how great she is, how much you lover her, show her favors in bed, Help out around the house if possible, send her flowers for just thinking of her, send sexy text messages, take her some where special, give her a day where you take all responsibility and let her have a day to do nothing but you do what it is that she normally does. Sometime women get to where we feel like no matter what we do noone ever appreciates it that its just part of our jobs as a wife and its nice to be told every now and then how great we are!! I know this doesnt tell you to know if she is or isnt but maybe if it hasnt happened yet you can keep it from happening! Talk, talk , talk, always try to talk about everything any issues that may be a problem try to reslove them and do this with out arguing or fighting!!

One of my biggest regrets in life is not taking action sooner than I did. He started his adultery with a heavy texting relationship, from February 2011 to June 2011. During that time, it grew from a secret friendship to an emotional affair. Then, when the relationship turned physical in June, it dawned on my husband that 1500 texts per month looks really suspicious, so they switched to secret e-mail accounts. They also talked everyday during morning and afternoon commutes. I only know all of this now because of post-d-day research. Husband and his paramour were super sloppy, and I was suspicious. Why did it take me until October to get phone records?!!!

I cannot stress how angry I am at myself for not doing due diligence earlier. I hate myself for it. I could've hired a private investigator, insisted on passwords to our online accounts (which he didn't share), followed him to work...anything!!! Instead, I did nothing...until his behavior reached a crescendo in October. Every passing week with that woman just brought more and more attachment, and we have to live with those issues. Why did I believe his lies?

Personally, I think you are lucky to have found this in the early stages. My husband had told me that it would've been much easier for him, if he had been found out sooner...before it turned physical. It would've been easier for me as well. Do I think you should trust that it is over? No way! Like others mentioned, there are many alternate ways to communicate. There is a lot of trust that will have to be re-earned. Your wife should now turn her life into an open book. JMHO.