Sometimes when I am in so much emotional pain, I will have these thoughts of suicide and sometimes when I am holding my tool that I self injure with or when I am holding a knife or another sharp object I just think I could just take this and start stabbing myself. Or when I am taking a bath I could go under the water and could make myself drowned. Or when I am riding my bike or taking a walk I just think how I could jump in front of a car. Or I think when I am in the car I could just open the door and jump out. Or when I am on a bridge I just think i could jump off. Sometimes I just cant wait to die cuz the emotional pain is just so unbearable. But these are just thoughts and that is all they are and ever will be. I have never and I will never attempt or commit suicide. I could never ever put the people who I love and care about me and the people who I love and care about through the pain and heartache. I will not die from suicide. Sometimes I think these thoughts and feelings are kinda obsessive and I just am wondering has anyone else felt this way and is this a concern should I be talking to my therapist about it. This is really hard for me to admit and I feel uncomfortable talking about it. So it definely took courage to reach out and post this on here.
(*NOTE* PLEASE ONLY USE THE WORDS SELF HARM OR SELF INJURY WHEN YOU REPLY TO MY POST OR WHEN AND IF YOU MESSAGE ME!*)
hi princess, i would surely talk with your therapist about your thoughts since they seem to be excessive and often. i to during my lifetime have had periods of thinking those very things. life can get very difficult sometimes and we don't see anyway out at that moment. there is always a way out. i have experienced these feelings myself often in the past year as it has been the most difficult i have ever lived. so your not alone honey. but do bring it up the next time you see your therapist. and if you get to where they are not just thoughts and feelings and you are actually looking to harm yourself in those ways contact your doctor right away and make sure you call a friend so that you are not alone. please keep us posted on how your doing.
Hey Kathy thank so much for your reply I really needed it. I will talk to my therapist about this. I can assure you that if I ever felt unsafe cause of my thoughts and feelings and looking to harm myself in those ways I would go to the hospital, I promise. It's nice to know I am not alone. Life does just get so difficult and sometimes it triggers these thoughts and feelings and sometimes it's just hard. Thanks again so much Kathy you have no idea how much your support means to me and how much you have helped me. I want to say you are such a amazing and wonderful person and you are loving and supportive support friend! :-) Your message really put a smile on my face and I am just feel really loved and cared about and special.
well you are special our little princess. just happy i could help in some way. our heads and emotions can get so intense sometimes and just to spit it out there can make you feel better. yup divine ms priincess this is definately therapist material as well. you go girl....
you do need to talk this over with your therapist since you have one. I do not have the smae problem as you in the fact of wanting to live and I appluad you for knowing that and wanting that in your life. But I do know what it is like to have thoughts croos your mind like you talk about. My worst one is when I ride my bike over a freeway overpass. I stop every time and will jsut think the thought of jumping and what I would feel and as messed up as it gets I lose track of time. I might be there 1 minute and get back on my bike or be there up to about an hour. But to me it seems like minutes. So I know how these thoughts and feelings can make you feel. But for you since you want to live but you jsut have these thoughts I think if you do talk to your therapsit you and them can get to the route of the problem and fix it so it does not happen as often or maybe even goes away. good luck
You are not alone with these feelings. I to think of this especially when driving, how I could easily drive off the road. Driving is my biggest fear but is definitely the way I would want to go. Talking to someone will help, so does writing things down, it gets the thoughts out of your head if only temporarily.
Yah Kathy sometimes feelings can be pretty intense. K9 and Jassy thanks for your support and it helps me knowing I am not alone, I was feeling very lonely but posting about my thoughts have really helped me and receiving all of this support has helped me to. So thank you! Do you guys talk to someone about your thoughts? I definetly think we can help and be there and support each other in these feelings. I will talk to my therapist and psychiatrist about them though. I am also going to be starting group therapy soon. Thanks again my lovely girls for all of your support.
there should be a bigger word than intense for our feelings…i guess sometimes there are no words that can describe the depth of them. since i am house/bed bound i don’t get the full human contact that i would like and i do have someone that i can speak to about my thoughts and feelings. the good thing about this site is that we can talk and try to put into words what goes on in our minds/emotions without getting say an eyeroll or a sigh…that is so hurtful isn’t it? we’re not crazy, and if most people were honest, the majority have them or have had them at one time or another. part of the human condition sometimes.
Kathy I agree that there is a even bigger word then intense for our feelings and also there sometimes is no words that can describe the depth of our feelings but we do the best we can right? I am so sorry that you are house/bed bound. I am glad that you do have someone to talk to about your feelings and thoughts and I am glad you have me and others on this site. Anytime you need to vent or need someone to talk to I am here for you, and others on this site are here for you as well. Yah I love this site and I love you and I love others on this site, you and other have been awesome and wonderful and such great supporter and that is what this site is about. You can give support and receive support. And like you said a good thing about this site is that we can talk about our feelings and thoughts and try to put it into words the best we can, and you and others on here are so loving, supportive, understand and nonjudgemental. Thanks kathy! Love you lots and lots of hugs!
I do talk to my therapist some about these things, hell even one of my appointments I had with my therapsit I rode my bike but did not give myself that time to stop at the freeway overpass thinking it would work, but I got caught up in the thought and was there about 15 minutes jsut really dazed in thoughts of what it would be like or feel like, but trying to tell myself get on your bike you crazy person or you will be late for your session and sure enough I was. But one thing I found interesting that day is he told me a book to get in regards to Winston Churchill. And in the book as I read it and read about how Winston churchill lived and thought and lived with depression too, this was a strong person as many might think, but stated in the book is a part where when he would be on a ship he could not go near the edge fo the boat, not for a fear of falling overboard but a fear of jumping and having those thoughts go thru his mind every time he came close to the edge fo the boat. SO even the strongest of humans have these thoughts.