i dont start thearpy thearpy until next week but i have had an ideal and i want to see what yall think if its good or bad idea heres what im doing until i actually see a thearapist then ill do it there way but right now i got to do something this waiting around is not working for me ive decided i cant trust my own mind that i cant really be a good judge of if im eating enough or eating way to much and by too much i mean a binge so i have started a food journel im not recording how many calories are in the food i am eating just what it is and how much of it i ate why i dont want to count calories is becuse calorie counting is part of my ed anyways just the amount of whatever food i eat when i am hungry and how much i ate and if i ate until full or over full or under full just basically how my body not mind felt after the meal or snack at the end of the day im going to have my fiance review my food log and have her judge if i am eating enough or eating entirely too much she is a good judge of this i told her to be completly honest and not lie to me because i already have one voice lying to me she eats normal and is at a healththy body weight and she knows that i need more food than her becuse im trying to gain and she is eating to maintain but that theres a difference between eating enough and eating way to much for someone who is struggling with an ed they cant really tell the difference any more i mean i know when i have an actual binge but other than that it is a bit of a mystery or it seems to be anyways i just cant trust myself right now i keep telling myself im eating normal again but i think that my fiance will be really heapful and not try to get me to eat to much just cause she wants me to gain wait she knows that one ed can become another and i think this way i can avoid that all together also i be putting how i felt after each meal and snack the emotions that were playing through my head i am going to be completly honest on this everything i eat no matter how much or how little it is i will write it down as soon as i eat it i think this is good but is this just resorting to old behaviors
I'm glad you have a plan to keep yourself safe until you can see the professional. ♥ It's different for everyone, of course... In my illness I used a food journal but did not track the calories. I found rereading the list of foods I'd eaten to be reassuring; it showed me that I did NOT eat too much. But my goal at that time was still to restrict. In recovery, I began tracking my calories, but it was all in a positive, recovery-minded way... I had to make sure I was eating enough, and the calories were my objective measure... I was learning to think in the opposite direction... A meal plan can really help... I hope you're able to get some more concrete help soon! ♥
acousti.....I too think it's a good thing to try to have a 'plan', and also to have someone in your life you can be accountable to. Like Jen said, counting calories can be for positive reasons as well, but if this helps you until you see a therapist, go for it!
When is your appointment? Is this someone who is an expert treating eating disorders?
Take care, and know that I am thinking of you...Jan ♥
its on tuesday yeah they are all about eds at this treatment facility its like the only one in my state but i found it finally and yeah i know counting can be postive but ill start obsessing about it so i try to avoid it at all cost for right now i mean its only until tuesday so yeah but thanks for the comments ill defiently be doing this since yall think its a good idea at least for now