Is this body even mine anymore? It's been used without my pe

Is this body even mine anymore? It's been used without my permission so many times that I can't even tell anymore. I've tried forgetting about all the unwanted touches, but they always seem to come back to me. I can't stand this torture anymore. My thoughts are constantly consumed with those unpleasant memories. Please someone help me forget. I need help to find a way to escape these haunting nightmares soon, or it will eventually end me.

2 Hearts

Hey eccentric_mind19, this is horrible. I've known several women who've been through sexual abuse and a couple of men as well. And it really messes people up. It's not happened to me, but I've seen some of its effects and they're very real. My first gf was a survivor of years of rape from her brother. I have a friend who suffered the same from her ex step dad. I also have a best friend who has been raped. It's not just something you can "forget and move on" from. Certainly, time does help, but the damage (looking in from the outside) is really obvious.

I wish I could help more. I can be a friend and supporter. We can talk and I'll empathize. Just wish I knew how to help more.

You are not what happened to you. The shame is not yours, but belongs 100% to the abuser. Some trauma work with a good trauma therapist can help you deal with your haunting thoughts, which are emotional flashbacks. I was helped a lot by This site has good information on processing past trauma. Sorry you have been thru this abuse.

1 Heart

Life can and does get better after the worst of situations, many people on support groups are living proof of it. Don't give up.

the only way I've been able to forget all of the horrible memories is on my knees asking a kind Heavenly Father to help me remove the memories and pain, that's what I had to do. It worked for me, but it took me almost 30 years to get there

1 Heart

From Mental & Physical Abuse to Rape & Sexual Assault