My Grandpa is very traditional, and old world like. He believes totaly that the woman should cook, clean, for her man and children, yet also be able to do all of the bills and household budgeting, which he would show her how to be done correctly. Then there is the protection pionts he makes, the woman should be able to fire a rifle, to either defend her household from intruders while he is away, or to kill wild game to have something to feed her family. The man's word is law and respected in the house, and the children are all to be seen but not heard since "nobody likes a whiner". This is what I grew up with, and now I'm saddled with caring for in his final years, with my poor mothers help. She cannot hardly stand his crazy ways either, his own wife couldn't hardly too they lived together devorced for the last 30 some years of her life. She "worked" as we all knew it was, caring for his never ending wims and demands until her death, she was too scared to start over alone at her age, after all she had been taught by him over the years about how men really were who could blame her. Of course, not all men are this way but he is very delusional and old living in the past always, and absolutely believes not one thing has changed much in this old world from his days as a young man in the late 1920's. Nobody, not a one member of the intire family fold has been at all able to penetrate this massive shield of denial of his, he wants nothing to do with computers or there "works" since he does not understand them they must be evil. We print out pictures for him at home, and he cannot hardly believe what we are able to do in minutes, all of his family used to dread doing for hours in there photo sessions of black and white. All of his huge collection of old photo's his family from "back east" or Wisconsin as we call it today. None of them were happy for pictures nobody smiled since it took so long and vanity was very frowned upon. They took pictures only as a way of letting others know they were well, to send to far away family members or to keep as a memory of a good time had by all. We do alot of these same things, but we do not have so suffer or work as tough as they did. He says, more people need to suffer more these days, we are too soft and take things for granted, and we are too spoiled. They did not keep there teeth, back then he said there was no fancy florides, and they only had one or two sets of clothes to wear the whole year through. They had a well for water they brought into the house to use for bathing, and cleaning everything in the house, including clothes. Which were made by there mother. They were pulled by horses, since this was before cars or trucks. As you can well see, why he thinks we are a bit more soft or "spioled" than he was. We just are. Is this a form of OCD, that he believes we should have to live this exact way as he did back then, now in order to have the right earned to inheret his household and property. He only got through help himself, and did no mannual lablor to earn himself. He did alot of work on the house and property, but worked in office posistions his whole career. His adult children have done all the other works for him, he expects this of them, period. No questions asked, and no complaining. Everything must be kept organized and cleaned, and up to code in both home, garden, bills,vehicles, everything or you must give it up. Is this OCD, or is this just kinda crazy? Perhaps, really a generation gap, or sort of communication barior of some type. Nobody could possibly be that effeceint and organized all the time, we are only human and make mistakes. What do you think, OCD, or perhaps power tripping a bit too much?
WOW interesting story but very true of the way people where raised of past generations. Would be wise to ignore it one way or the other as you've mentioned no one is going to change his thinking & I dont think this is OCD but more of the way one is conditioned/their up bringing. Try & do the best you can & fore go getting any encouragement on his end & dont take it personal or become resentful towards him, try & find something funny about it cause its really the way of the past although still exists UGH.........
Is there anyway possible to get some inhome care givers or place them in an assisted living facility if affordable?
My heart goes out to you.
April