It has been about two months since I admitted my cheating to my wife. I know what I did wrong and I completely realize the hurt I have caused her. I know that what I have done will take her time to heal from, if healing is possible at all. With that being said, I too realize the neglect that I have administered to her by not spending time with her, by not showing my affection to her. Since my admission I have given everything I have to spend every minute I can with her, whether it is taking her out, or just laying on the couch holding her. Our sex life has been, in my opinion has been amazing, it is almost as if the entire relationship has been renewed. I know she loves me, she proves that by working with me through my downfall and mistake. But, sometimes it seems as if the affection doesn't always go both ways. I know I have put her through a lot, but am I expecting a little too much, too soon right now? I try to brighten her day and send her texts saying I love her, she's beautiful, etc. I call her, just to tell her I love her. However, I don't get the same in return. Not trying to sound selfish her, so please don't get me wrong. But again, am I asking too much, too soon? I'll be totally honest, sometimes it feels to me that maybe she is having second thoughts on working on things.
It's totally normal. Keep up the good work on recovery. You will need to carry the load for awhile and put your feelings aside. She's there and that is probably all she can handle right now.
Thank you for the insight. I've never really thought about it that way, but your words give me new perspective.
@remorsefulhusband It’s a long road but I think it’s worth it.
I know it's worth it. My wife is my "right arm" so to speak. I know my actions in the past don't prove it, but I can't live without her. She is my world.
@remorsefulhusband Don’t give up.
I wish my husband would have fought for us instead of leaving me for her and saying our marriage is unfixable. If you love your wife and she is worth it, then fight for her and your marriage. Don't give up so easily. Keep doing what you are doing.
@LHanna , my love for my wife is deeper than anything on the face of this Earth. I don’t know, maybe I never realized it until the reality of losing her came true. I’ll never give up, ever. We have our ups and downs, but we have a hell of a lot more ups than downs, even through the mess I caused. She and I will get through this, come hell or high water.
YES definitely asking too much. Only 2 months into her finding out. You have no idea how painful betrayal is. I'm sure she is still up and down with emotions. Betrayed person can and does have very negative feelings towards the cheat e r at times. That take a LONG time to work through. I'm 15 months in and at times I can become very negative towards my husband. I have to try really hard to let go of my anger and resentment.
You are a good husband to admit to your wrong doings and assist YW in her healing process. Not all of us are blessed to have that. Stay strong but most importantly remain empathetic. This is going to be a very long and difficult road for her. It will be for you also. I wish you both the best!
@remorseful She may be struggling not with belief, not necessarily trust, she may go through times where when you say you love her - she may know you truly love her but she may struggle to BELIEVE it; from someone who is being cheated on & knows when he says he loves me & im his whole world - I know he feels that way, but I don't believe it... The belief that you feel & truly mean the things you say is not something easily given once lost... Even if she wants to.
She will have second thoughts. I have had it a lot. But when my husband reassures he is in this until I say I can't, even through bad days, he still told with the punches and is trying to live me and show show me love even when I have a hard time showing him love. Reminds her to talk to you, and if she needs to vent or just talk about what happpened, listen to her and tell her you are so sorry for making her have to deal with this. And how much of a mistake it was to risk losing her.