It never ends

I look for any way out but it doesn't matter if you become self destructive because it doesn't work in the end anyway. I've completely cut myself off from anyone I love. Some how it's sooo much easier to sit here and ignore the outside world. I wish these holidays would just end it seems as if Xmas and new years has been going on for multiple months now. I've have been battling chronic depression and suicide for 14 yrs now and nothing gives. I know I shouldn't be feeling sorry for myself but whatever I don't care anymore. My beliefs have stopped me from suicide so many times but it's come to that it doesn't matter anymore, he'll could be just as bad as this.

Thanks for listening.

I am sorry that you are so down, I wish there was something that could make all of us feel a little better. I know how you feel, I too have pushed everyone away. I feel that my problems would be to hard to express being that everyone is already to busy to hear me out any way. I close myself in and feel bad for it. I try but it is hard to move forward.

Thanks for your support, it really means a lot

fairydust

if u had to take one thoght from this last 12 months into the new year what would it be?

are u gettin help with your depression etc and do u think going to a group might help u be more social or has it got beyond that point?

wantingtoget

we are never to busy to hear what u have to say hon .......

as always loving thoughts and positive vibes
D :)

thank you, thank you, thank you

i pains me to hear that so many people feel so dreadful and low. i know what this feels like and i don't wish it on anyone else.
why can't there be just THE solution to get out of depression, to start appreciating and loving life simply the way it is?
but maybe we can help each other at least a little bit just by understanding and listening. so all, keep sharing, it does feel good to let it all out!

lots of love
maedi

thank you for your kind words and taking the time to share, it means a lot!

Fairdust
I think you have come too the conclusion that "self-distructive" does not work...that experience only make matters worse, without any benfit...so why do it. Your describing isolation from the world and those you love, because it's easy, could that also be "self distructive"... why do what is easy, why not do it because it is hard. Your also right it will never end when there is self-distructive behavior, a change must happen. As for "hell" we make sometimes...we just have to reconize what were doing is "self-distructive" and make a change not to be put in that state of cause. Walk away from anything that is self-distructive in nature and start something new...that will improve you! Stay true to your beliefs and listen for they protect you...from suicide and the true hell. Best Wishes!

#1 Wanting to get...
"domestic" here, is right there are many who are never to busy to hear what you have too say... don't "lock your self in"...communication is alway a challenge and hard, even for me. So keep comeing back...I'll have my ear's on...Best Wishes!

thank you of reminding me about my own self sabatoge, I guess it’s what I’m comfortable with, I bought my self a heart necklace this x-mas to tell myself I have to love myself to be able to move on and forgive, not stay stuck where I am. your of great support, what a gentle and kind heart you have.

Some times the way out is really slow. Being on this site can help a lot. Sometimes just reading peoples posts about other people's issues helps me with my own.

thank you so much, its very sweet, really I mean it

i lov ethe necklace idea. a great reminder to keep pushin geverytime you see it!!
good luck on your path and please do keep posting!

happy new year!
maedi

I just realized that part of the reason that I stopped wearing my charm necklace all of the time and instead wear the necklace that my grandmother gave me all of the time is not just the hope it brings but also the reminder of why I never met my other grandmother and that there are better ways to solve problems.