It probably sounds stupid but has any of the betrayed spouses though about having an affair as well? I'm thinking that if I would do what at he did to me that maybe I feel better afterwards, that I won't blame him as much, that we are then equal.
Has anyone been in situation like this?
3 Hearts
Don't do it...it will only make you feel worse and any recovery harder. You are really just looking to escape the pain and thought or maybe for some revenge and it is natural but stupid to actually do. Two wrongs don't make a right and you will regret it.
1 Heart
@runningfree5 yes I try to escape all that he has done and I want him to suffer as have I suffered. I know it’s probably wrong thing to do but just had a moment of what if…
I did it. Just made 1 problem turn into 2. And it kills your own morals. If you aren't able to forgive get out its not worth it.
2 Hearts
I never thought of another man until I found or my husband had a few side girls. Then I thought about it. But, I realized the only reason I had this thought, wad because of he did. I have not been with many people, which I am pretty proud of, and I dont want to change who I am because of another person's bad choices. Hopefully. ..if I can get my life together and be the"good" wife who stood by her husband when he struggled. If we make it together, I would rather him silk think of me special and strong enough not to do something I would regret.
I have felt this way as well, maybe to even the scales...but I just can't bring myself to do it or attempt to since I'd never want someone else's spouse to go through what I went through because of me.
Yes I have. I've even told my husband that I've had thoughts of having my own affair. I don't think it will solve anything and it would probably screw me up more emotionally but I've seriously considered it. To even out the scales. But even if I had one affair it wouldn't compete with the 30 different women he had his emotional affairs with over our entire relationship. Its tempting for sure to want that revenge. I don't know if I would ever do that, but yes, definitely thought about it, especially when I'm depressed. Its nice to fantasize about someone treating you better than your spouse has.
I've thought about it many times, but I would never have actually done it, I think it is a natural thought that you want them to feel the pain that you have felt!