It started with his lying. He'd lie about drinking. Then he'd just drink and drink. That's the first think he did when he came home from work--that is, if he went to work. Then I noticed that he had been out of his pain medication way before it was time for a refill. He'd blame the kids saying that they're taking his pill and selling them. He couldn't admit that he needs help. Then the pot smoking. And, yes, he'd lie about that too. It didn't matter that I could smell him a mile away. He finally copped to it, but minimized the entire thing, like it's no big deal. SO, pot smoking, percocet popping, beer drinking. I had to get away. Plus, all the lying. I couldn't take it anymore. I met my husband in a NA meeting. This isn't his first rodeo. But, he just will not admit that he needs help. He's driving on a suspended license with no insurance or registration and thinks nothing of it. He's been in three different car accidents because of being under the influence and falling asleep at the wheel. Again, he thinks nothing is wrong with him. He seems to think I'm not serious about leaving him, but he won't get help. I'm not going back to him. I can't help someone who doesn't think that they need help! I felt like I had betrayed him when I left, but truthfully, now, I feel so much better. I feel like I can breathe!
Wow, you are so strong for having the courage to do what you needed to do for yourself. I'm so sorry about your husband/ex-husband. It sounds like he's going through a lot. But sadly, you can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped. Hopefully, someday, he will wake up and realize he has a problem and really desire change. And although it makes perfect sense why you'd feel bad for leaving- it's hard to leave someone you care about during a tough time for them- you also need to think of your life. You can't let him start destroying your life and happiness. It's so hard to take that step, though, and move out. That takes such incredible strength and determination. I'm glad to see you're feeling better on the other side and just hang in there!! This is such a great opportunity to focus on yourself and what you want for you and your kids. Best wishes to your family!
@running_girl_04 Thanks! I appreciate the encouragement and the compassion. I sometimes feel as though I may have made a mistake by not putting him first. The problem is though, that I did for a really long time. It got neither him nor I anywhere. I was so full of resentment. Now, I feel like I can be more compassionate towards him being that he is an addict who needs help. While he isn’t ready to be helped, I no longer need to be resentful because I have taken myself and the kids out of the picture. Thanks again!