It took me a long time to figure out exactly what I am, but now I know for a fact that I'm asexual biromantic. I'm not interested in any sex whatsoever, but I'm romantically attracted to both boys and girls. I've had crushes on boys before, and I find myself staring at girls a lot, thinking that they look really attractive. But now I have feelings for my best friend, and they're feelings that are stronger than anything I've ever felt before. I'm so happy whenever I'm around her, but whenever I see her go out on a date--even if it is just with a friend--I feel genuinely hurt and angry. I want her all to myself, but I know that's wrong so I never try to keep her away from anyone else.
I can't tell her how I feel. She's Mormon and anything but heterosexuality isn't acceptable in that religion. Telling her would be pointless and would only make things awkward between the two of us. I tried asking her to prom multiple times. Luckily she thought I was just joking around every single time, and I played it off as a joke as well each time she turned me down. I'm in love with her, and it hurts me so much to know that I can never tell her or the majority of my other friends about it. I haven't told my family that I'm biromantic, only two of my friends know, and they're my only two friends who aren't straight. I live in a Mormon community, so I know that my family wouldn't approve and my friends would think differently of me. One of my friends finally finished coming out as gay to everyone, and I'm hoping I can do the same thing someday, I just get too scared to try.
Having those two friends does give me strength, it helps me feel a little less alone. I also know that my dad would accept me. He isn't part of any religion, and I know that he couldn't care less about what orientation a person is. But I don't think I could bring myself to tell him.
I'm actually losing sleep over thinking about my best friend. I know I should tell her, but she'll be moving to a different state next year and she'll turn me down no matter what anyways. So I just don't know if there's a point in saying anything at all. I've never felt this way about anybody else ever before. She's just so pretty and funny and nice, and literally perfect in my eyes. But I know I'll never be with her and I know that she'd never see me as the same person if I ever told her.