Its a struggle because I think about self harm a lot even though most people think that I have healed from it. But I feel like its worse because almost anything that is closet my hut that is going will trigger me to want to cut. I think that I made it such an addiction or such a normal part of my way of dealing with things that it is not my automitic source to fix things. The urge to cut is incredably strong today. Its all I can think about right now. Going to by a knife or finding a razor somewhere. I work at a camp ground so its tough to find something. Even though I know for a fact that I am going to regret it with all of my heart I still want to. I keep thinking that I can justness cig but I live 30 min from store and I don't have a car. I am afraid that I will give in.
Hi! I'm sorry, this is eight hours after your post. I know it's really hard, it sucks. But you're trying not to, but go find a friend. or someone you mildly like, etc, just someone and tell them a crappy joke that you love or eat food or something, just do something that's interesting to you and makes you happier then cutting. It won't fix everything but for now it could help you get through. I hope you're doing okay!