Its almost time for goodbye

it wont be long now and u will be in the arms of angels, they will sing softly as u desend or do i mean ascend? who knows where the next journey will be but it will be the biggest adventure of your life, or so u tell me.

im not sure that u being the oldest is going to work how u think it will, but after all these years and silly ideas who cares, you my beloved sisinlaw are happily content knowing u fought and the race is almost done, im not sure i would have the grace or dignity to be there at the end and allow u to go without a fight, yes i know its not my choice to make but who is going to hold my hand and remind me of the younger us and our follies of youth,

im going to cheat and open the letter u left me, will it have words of wisdom or will it leave me so mad i will storm after u when its my turn like i did all those years ago...........

oh my D i hope this letter was full of the love and tender wisdom that sounded like your sisinlaw had and that you didn't fill with anger at her passing although i understand this aner. my mom gets angry at my dad for leaving, her a natural emotion.

know that your sisinlaw did not leave you that in the greater scheme of things she is always with you and your relationship continues. this is the miracle of life, that we truely have a life after death and of course it is only my belief but it is a comfort to me and a belief that i have taken solace in through the death of several dearly beloved ones over the recent years so i can only offer it to you. that when you sis earns or earned her angel wings she will fly close to you to guide guard and protect just as she always has.

all my best with faith and hope and loving kindness. your prayer warrior, maria


the lettter told me all about things i know deep down and to allow the kids to breathe and stand on their own two feet it told me to rejoice in what we had and not dwell on the things i couldnt change as she pointed out only one has that power and its not me

i guess really i wanted to be validated not have a dose of common sense and a list of instructions but i know she had the best idea cos its so easy to overstep the boundaries when u are frightened and alone not that i am in the people sense but in terms of someone who knew me and now there is only my hubby and bro in law to remember the younger me the one who wore fashionable clothes and held down a job as well as raised a family now im just a wife mother and gran
not that im complaining but sometimes u want to giggle about the younger u or cry for the silly things u did and guys just dont do it do they? they just roll the eyes and say yes dear no dear lol after all these years i guess i should be happy we are still dear to each other

but your faith always makes my journey easier so thank u honey

love D

dear D so what i hear you telling me is not only did you loose a dear family member by a time in your life as well and that is a tremendous sense of loss and moving on and makes it very complex. my heart goes out to you and it is not a simple thing to grief such a wide loss as yours.

i was led to think upon this all day and it brought to mind Ecclesiastes 3

to everything there is a seson and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
A time to be born and a time to die; A time to plant and a time to pluck up that which is planted; A time to break down and a time to build up;
A time to weep and a time to laugh ; a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to cast away stones and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing; a time to seek and a time to lose; a time to keep and a time to cast away; a time to rend and a time to sew; a time to keep silence and a time to speak; a time to love and a time to hate; a time for for war and a time for peace.

well you get the picture. you are in one of those times of maybe silence and casting away, healing and weeping, mourning and losing, and refraining. as am i for different reasons. we share a common bond dear sister in the struggle. God bless you my dear D and know you are loved and prayer for, by your prayer warrior.

lol my dearest prayer warrior now u are starting to sound just like her so im still blessed to know u as u lead me out of the darkness of thoughts and into the light with a much more gentle touch than she had think sarge major and u wont be far wrong

but as always keep some reserve for yourself and be kind to u always

love D