It's around 2am and I'm furious. Last night, on his way hubby called and said and old friend had messaged him to meet in Spokane. (It's 90 miles away.) He lives in California but his friends parents live there. This guy ghosted him 2 years ago. He was all excited about seeing him. When I asked if I could meet him, he started back pedaling. It sent up red flags. He's met up with prostitutes there, plus he's on his hookup sites again. I counted his Viagra... yep, some are missing. Guess the over the counter stuff he tried doesn't work as well. (Found receipt before.) So this morning, as he's getting ready for his early morning job, I asked to see the message. If it had been legit he would've said OK and showed me. Instead, he asked WHY? When I pushed the issue, he got angry and we got in a fight. Nope not buying it. Been down this road too many times.
It does sound like he is up to old tricks.
@Griz75 Saw his primary on Monday. She’s sending a referral to get him back to rehab. He didn’t fight me on it. Thought we were doing good the last week. Now i know it was an act.
what are your next steps? is it finally time to leave him? set him free?
@Griz75 on Nov 21st I told him rehab or divorce. He’s doing the steps to go back to rehab. That being said, I did spend several hours imagining going through and packing up his stuff if he goes to Spokane. Changing the locks (I can do that myself. ) It’s a wait and see at this moment.
I’m not sure what makes this guy so special. He’s a liar, a cheater, and a user. You don’t need evidence, just trust yourself. The red flags are enough evidence that he is who he showed himself to be through his past actions. Just believe your eyes not the omission of the truth. It took me a long time to understand that people simply omit the truth, and that’s just another form of lying. Being with someone li ke that is li ke investing your time, emotion and health into a black hole. It’s a lost investment, accept it and move on. You need to raise your standards of what you tolerate. When someone insults your intelligence, thinks you’re gullible, and tries to treat your boundaries as suggestions—run, dont even have to say anything just go. If someone doesnt make you feel seen, connected, and special, they are not worth your time because they dont care. Maybe they dont have the capacity to care, and maybe they have trouble communicating. etc, but either way the person suffering is you. And so you have to make yourself yhe center of your world because trust me. they’re at the center of their world, and theyll tell you whatever lies they need to to have you, keep you, and also have and keep everything else they want. Find someone who wants what you want, allow people who want sex workers to have their sex workers.