It's been about 7 months since my last log in, luckily because I have been doing much better but tonight a few thoughts were on my mind. Does anyone ever struggle, being around groups of people,particularly people they don't know? I am kicking myself in the rear, went to a birthday party last night for a dear friend, and after some extremely stressful events yesterday, i knew I probably shouldn't have gone, but didn't want to disappoint my friend. I am just embarrassed, I guess due to stress, (finding out our lease fell through last minute, we are in the process of a military move) not feeling well due to other health issues and lack of sleep, I completely shut down at my friends party. I didn't really interact with anyone, just sat quietly next to my daughter, or either walked around and kept to myself, due to how anxious I was. Now the following day , I am regretful, and feeling a bit depressed. I so often feel misunderstood, or when I try to explain my feelings , no one understands. Or thinks i'm just being dramatic or making excuses for my with drawals, and being socially awkward. So i'm sure, everyone at the party thinks i'm the biggest b**** ever. Anyways, can anyone relate. Thanks. :) Just needed to vent.
when I am nervous I get diarrhea of the mouth wish I could of isolated in crowds and shut up.......I respect those whom can smile and quietly make it through the night for they seem to command respect
I am odd, I've never liked crowds even as a small child. I just feel like an ***, at times I will socially with drawal. I also will start to pace, and I'm sure last night, I probably came off, like a total ****. When I am in a fowl mood, I just prefer to be alone. Somehow I can find peace, in the quiet, away from all of the stress and chaos that other people at times bring.
you have to know and respect your "triggers". if you are already stressed, expecting too much of yourself will always get you into trouble. if your "friends" don't understand, than they aren't really friends (they are acquaintances). the # one person you have to take care of and respect, is yourself. stress will make you ill and then who will care for your husband and children? don't socialize w/ ppl who are disrespectful and have unrealistic expectations of you. don't give them ammunition to use against you. learn about establishing and maintaining healthy boundaries. have attainable goals and don't compare yourself to others. don't put yourself down, that's learned dysfunctional behavior. lots of work ahead :) :) stay positive and baby steps. "I am not odd, I'm unique". start giving yourself some compliments. be careful about moving closer to mom, esp if you are already feeling vulnerable. don't want you jumping from the frying pan to the fire!!
I'm trying to look at it as, well I'll explain the whole situation. I have one child, a daughter who is 2. We also have two dogs, a beagle & a pit bull. My female pitbull juno, I raised since she was teeny Tiny & honestly never in my wildest dreams did I expect to own a pit. I honestly believe she saved me from a very difficult time in my life and I have a special bond with her. Anyways finding housing accommodations with a pitbull is, down right, a pain in the butt. We found a few apartments that cost alot of money, and this particular house is a single family home. My family knows the contractor who owns it, my dogs will have a fenced in back yard etc.
So it came down to $1288 a mo for a 2 bedroom apartment or $800 a mo for a single family brick ranch, on the water, in a very good community, boat ramps etc. Just unfortunately about 20 min from my parents , and a longer commute for my husband. In that particular area though , $800 is unheard of for anything decent.
hope your dog will protect you from your mom!!! :) :) sounds like a great house. hope it works out. you going into it w your eyes open and that's the best you can do.