Its been almost a year since i found out about my bfs addict

its been almost a year since i found out about my bfs addiction and the closer it gets the more anxiety etc. i get. I have pstd from what hes done to me and havent learn any ways to cope with this at all. I personally struggle with BPD and self harming and the anxiety this is bring me is very triggering. I dont know what to do anymore. I cant take the way this makes me feel all the time. and I dont want to talk to him about it cause I tend to get angry and attack him about it. I dont know if this feeling/s are ever going to go away. Its almost a year and I am still struggling with the knowledge and images of what he did in my head. I cant even hear something related to it with instantly getting a flash back or something to the point I broke down at my new job in front of my manager when she asked me if I was Ok.... This is fairly a long story with lots more details, I havent been here for a while but I felt like I need to come in and just get all this out right now...

How are you feeling today? :)

@LonelyWarrior31 Like poop