It's been four months since diagnosed. I'm finding the hardest part is fear of being alone the rest of my life. I know you all say there will be people to understand, and I'll find someone who won't be bothered by it, but how can that be? I can't see how anyone who doesn't have it would want to risk getting it. Some days I don't think about it. Others, like today. Dispair.
3 Hearts
Hi! I was just diagnosed with herpes 2 yesterday morning. I've been seeing a woman for about a month now and we quickly fell in love. It's hard to explain, but we have a connection that is very strong. I told her the bad news yesterday, and I'll tell you right now I was terrified about what she was going to say. She actually was very understanding and supportive, though she fully understands the implications and the need to be very careful. I understand that I may be pretty lucky, but if I was able to find a partner this understanding and loving, there has to be more like her out there. Keep searching, my friend. Your other half is out there;)
1 Heart
Thank you for the encouragement. My ex back in the picture, but I can tell he is still racked with fear about getting it and as such we haven't been intimate. Just friendly dinner dates. He's not a great communicator which makes this 10x more difficult. If it were reversed, I wouldn't hesitate to be supportive. I'm in love with him. His fear though, leaves me incredibly lonely and sad. And I know this will end, again. I think his attitude contributes to my fear. Indecision is not positive. I think he loves me for all the beautiful things i am, but his fear disallows intimacy. And makes me feel this is the way it may always be.
Yes, communication is very important. My girlfriend and I are very open and honest with each other. We haven't had sex yet, either. Like at all, in the relationship. Just a lot naked touching and kissing. It's going to be difficult for us both to figure this out because we both have ridiculously high sex drives. It would be easier to just split, but we're SO deeply in love with each other. I'm sorry that your boyfriend is so fearful. Have you talked to him about how herpes works, or has he possibly looked into it himself? It's really not that scary once you're educated about it. If the studies are correct, LITERALLY 1 in 6 of every sexually active adult has it. Just imagine walking down a crowded side walk or being at a large concert and marking every sixth person you walk past. If this boyfriend does not turn out to be the one for you, there are plenty out there who are right for you. I don't consider my self a wiseman or anything, and I'm new to herpes as well, but I do offer my support, if you need it;)
@NewlyPositive626 my research came up with 65% of the population carries the hpv2 antigen and was confirmed by my doctor. What’s up with the discrepancy ?
Thank you again for the encouragement and sharing your story. I am highly educated about it and have poured over all the statistics and measures in how to prevent transmission. When I try to talk to him about it, he just nods quietly and has nothin much more to say. I don't think he's motivated to learn much about it, which is frustrating. When I want to talk about it, it just sounds like I'm trying to "convince" him it will be fine. But only the uninfected person can really make that determination. I think he's caught in limbo. But I think it's healthier for me to move on, accept this, and stop waiting on him. Maybe there are more understanding people out there.
1 Heart