It's funny how one person can control your whole world, and tear your confidence apart. The more I hate him the harder it is to get away. It's the weirdest thing. I wanted him back in my life. But for what reason? The pain? The two seconds where I feel wanted? The constant wanting for clarification of my beauty? Every second I was with him sucked the life out of me. The epitome of an abusive relationship. It's not love. It's feeding off of one another.. And constantly needing/wanting that clarification. That validation that you are worthy of that other person. The good moments together were just that. And they shined through as I pushed the horrible nightmares of reality down as deep as they will go. Why can't I see the horrible days as clearly and adamantly as the good feelings I so badly crave back. I want those times to last forever. I wanted this picture perfect man that he wasn't. I felt for someone that was not real.
1 Heart
i know what you mean. i love my boyfriend but i am so unhappy and honestly i know i deserve better but im so scared of change and not knowing my future, of not being in control.