Like it always it. 2 steps forward, 50 steps back.
I always feel like I'm getting better, but it's getting worse.
I got rid of all of my binge worthy foods from my dorm room, so now when I genuinely crave carbs, I run down to my cafeteria and wolf down ice-cream and granola.
I used to carry some protein cereal, but I got rid of that because I used to binge on it. So what used to be relatively healthy binges, have turned into some high sugar, high fat ones.
Tonight, silly me did 2 hrs of exercise and didn't refuel properly afterwards. So once 10pm rolled around, I craved carbs like nothing else. My cafeteria was closed, so I had a brain blast. The vending machine.
Doritos, oreos, choc chip bites, popcorn, sugar free jello cups (yeah, like that made a difference), Crunch bar and a 3 musketeers bar later, the craving was gone. But what was worse, was that after the first round (oreos, musketeers, and crunch bar), I was satisfied. But the mindless binge side of things kicked in.
I used to binge on protein cereal and tuna salad sandwiches. And now that I don't have these things in my room anymore, I am eating what I can get my hands on.
It probably doesn't help that I have polycystic ovaries. I guess this set of excess insulin will mean that i won't be ovulating this month either.
But the worst is, I'm getting really good at 'making up' for it. The binges genuinely keep me full for 24 hours following, so I just don't eat.
I thought studying abroad would make these Binge tendancies go away, but because I have my own room, I'm alone a lot more than at home. Without my mum hanging out near the kitchen, it makes it A LOT easier to binge. And the fact that temptation is there, whereas it isn't at home makes it even worse...
I'm hoping that this really doesn't effect me in terms of my appearance, because I was finally loving the way I was looking :(