It's sad how many groups I qualify for on this site

Here's my story: I developed anorexia and bulimia at 14, by 18, I was a walking skeleton and checked into the Remuda Ranch center for Anorexia and Bulimia (the most amazing program). I managed to gain a little weight (not nearly enough) and I concinved my parents I was well enough to go off to college. I went away and promptly got hooked on Adderall so I could lose weight again. I struggled with my anorexia until I was...well, who am I kidding, I still struggle and I'm 29.
I stayed way underweight until I was about 25, then I started bodybuilding and it changed my focus to having a strong body, not a sickly one. I became a personal trainer and had a pretty healthy relationship with food (well, for me). I got married, we tried for a baby. I conceived a little girl and gained 47 pounds during my pregnancy. My daughter is precious and I adore her and it's totally worth it, but the anorexia just came back to haunt me. I lost all 47 pounds in 8 weeks because I starved myself. Now that I'm below my pre-pregnancy weight, my body doesn't look the same. My stomach is soft, my hips have widened, and I'm having a really hard time with it. I'm starting to focus on calories and weight again. I really don't want to go back down this road- it almost killed me the last time. Thanks for listening.

Agent...don't put this burden on yourself. We all need support, and whether people are actually writing on more than one site here, they likely could 'qualify' to. It's nothing to be ashamed of. Please try to be thankful that there is support for you and all of us!
I'm happy to hear about your daughter (congrats!), but please seek professional help. You need to take care of yourself for YOU and for your family!
No shame...no apologies....reach out and please keep sharing!! Take care.....Jan ♥

hey, welcome to the site. the fact that you reached out on here shows that you seek support again because nobody should have to deal with is on their own. just know we're always here for you.

i'm glad that in between you found a way to deal or even overcome your ED. funny enough i chose the same route :-) I#ve always loved sports and fitness and looking further into bodybuilding type training and lifestyle definitely helped me a lot to start eating properly and regularly again. i became a PT too and started powerlifting two years ago. all of this helped reminding me daily of what a healthy lifestyle should be like. yet my ED came back (it was always there but just reduced) with full force.
although i still believe that the path we chose can be helpful i totally agree with jan that you should seek professional help again. maybe a counselor or a group to start with? or an OP programme so that you can be with your baby girl?

let us know how you get on.

lots of love
maedi