I've been dealing for the past 2 years of my husband on and

I've been dealing for the past 2 years of my husband on and off spice synthetic Marijuana. The withdrawals are worse then coming off of herion. We are currently on our 3 rd separation after 19 years. Never thought I would be in this type of situation with him. I don't know how not to be Co dependent. We separated on Feb 1. He's living with his mother and has finally gotten himself Clean. But in my mind I wonder how long. Seems like a cycle after to 4 months of withdrawals, crazy emotions crying then his rage. Seems like once he begins to level out it starts all over again. How do I shot love but stay with in boundaries. What are healthy boundaries. I have no idea. Hes not living here, he totalled our car. So I don't let him use the only car we have now. We have 2 children I don't allow them to go over there regardless if he is sober "now" because I've been this route several times before. I feel at a loss. I love hi . I don't want to enable him. But feel I need to show love in ways that don't enable. He does still pay out mortgage. The only thing he hasn't lost is his job. Which was I had been praying for. I feel that would be his rock bottom. Hebwas ready for treatment and his wonderful mother messed that up.

Maybe stay in separate homes but maintain ongoing contact. If he is going through a bad patch let his mother handle it. Tell the mother you still love him and always will but your first responsibility is to the children so of he continues with these cycles it's better you live apart..but you still want to stay family.

Hi Nightngal. I don't think there's an easy answer to your questions. Being codependent includes overfocussing on the other person, so try to do some activities you enjoy, for yourself, even if it's only for 10 minutes every day.
Here is the Codependency Group resource list, which includes links to information about maintaining boundaries:

http://www.supportgroups.com/codependency-emotional-abuse-relationship/codependency-resource-list

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