I've been trapped in the spiral of loneliness for quite a while now. Each day it gets harder and harder to not give in. I keep trying to think of what I need, what am I missing in my life that makes me feel so sad and lonely? I think this would be so much easier if I didn't have people that I knew cared about me. For some reason it makes more sense to me to be lonely when you're alone vs. being lonely when you have people. There is no balance in sight.
Do you feel like this is due to Covid or has this been going on for longer than that?
Fortunately, I haven't been terribly impacted by Covid-19 I live in a small town that never really saw the impact. This is something that I've always felt, even as a child with 3 brothers, I have always felt alone. It's always seemed like I was missing something that others had that made them feel loved. Even though I know that I am, the feelings of it never being enough to fill the hole that is inside is sometimes more daunting than having nothing at all. I don't know that any of that makes sense.
Love Over Comes, I can empathize with your feeling trapped in loneliness - I have to look for reasons to not give in and give up most days. I devastated my relationship just over three years ago and was trying to restart and overcome my addiction issues - it was hard. Then in October 2019, I lost that person that I had hurt and devastated suddenly and live in an empty loneliness that I don't know if I will be pass. I have been more or less isolated since the pandemic, but still feel a lost of being alone in a crowd even when I do get together with small groups. I am not going to blow smoke and tell you that I have the magic answer, because I don't have one. I just wanted you to feel that you aren't the only one feeling alone and sliding deeper and deeper into a black hole of depression and loneliness that makes it hard to just get up. You have a bunch of supportive people here that you can share and reach out to - and I hope you do. I understand and if you want to talk privately about things Love Over Come, please let me know. One Day At A Time.
Please get help. I don’t know what is causing these feelings but I am thankful you have a support group. This is sooooo important and you are blessed. For me personally I got past this when I found a relationship with God. His son Jesus, died for my sins, paid my sin debt on the cross ( we celebrate this at Easter). And set me on a course of building a relationship with my creator, my Father God and His son. This relationship filled me with love and helped me to find the beauty of life. You can learn more about this by calling this number-855 382 5433. They can also give you information on resources for counselors. You do not have to do this alone. I pray that you find the fullness of the life that God created you to live. I pray that you find hope. I pray that you get what you need to overcome this spiral. God bless you. Today is the first day of the rest of your life. There can be a new beginning. You are able to write a new life story.
how are things going?
Is there things not open like was before and loneliness caused by lack of being able to meet up with friends that you feel like genuinely care more? Do you feel like the people around you maybe are not supportive and that’s what’s causing loneliness even though they are around? Sucks to have feelings like this.. I hope you start feeling better soon!
The loneliness isn't something pushed on to me, it isn't environmental, or situational. It's a loneliness that is deeper seeded. The funny thing is that I can pinpoint when, where, why. I have people around me that love me and want to see me succeed and grow and improve but none of it matters. I've found ways in the past to fill the emptiness, those ways only caused me to spill my pain out onto people that didn't deserve it, and left me even more unhappy in the long run. I'm tired of having to put on the face and the act of someone who isn't dying inside.
That kind of makes sense about being lonely when your alone. But its also good that you have people who care for you. I may be off base here but maybe you feel that way because they are not the person you are looking for when it comes to a companion? I hope you dont feel or stay lonely for to long.
I think that you’re absolutely right, there’s a level of intimacy that I’m missing in my life, I’ve never had it because I’ve never allowed myself to have it and now that I have accepted my sexuality and am even contemplating allowing it, I have built up this anxiety about it so high that sometimes it feels like it’s all hopeless. I know it’s the kid inside of me doing everything he can to make sure that he’s safe and I just have to tell him that it will be ok now. That we don’t have to worry about being abandoned or rejected, that we can be true to who we are and that is more than enough, it’s just a lonely process until I can get to the point where I allow love into my life.
I’m out, there’s no more secrecy which is so incredibly nice and freeing but my fears come on strong where I even think about trying to date someone and forget trying to hookup my anxiety goes through the roof like none other
So you are trying to find a real relationship?
It’s tough, I’ve been on a couple dates in 3 years and they didn’t turn out. I tell myself that God will guide me to the right person, and that I’ll know. I feel like there’s still a lot that I’m working on myself and that it’s coming but it’s a matter of not letting those moments of loneliness take over
That is hard to not let it take you over. I was married for 16 years and at 37, dating has not been fun. But you are right. God will lead you to the right person. Somtimes you have to go through hurt to get to the love. And you are actually making yourself stronger in the process.
The only thing causing suffering is your thoughts - not being alone . You want peace and happiness , your thoughts tell you having others around you will bring happiness - it won’t .Learn all unhappiness comes from thoughts and you’re believing the thoughts . Stop believing those thoughts causing suffering , and you will have peace and happiness that we all desire . https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k6sC4GK93_4