I've never talked to anyone

So, this is my first time ever really talking about my bulimia. Unfortunately, as much as I do not want to admit it, I think I would be classified as a bulimic. Actually, I'm sure of it.

I think I don't acknowledge it because I don't really see it as an issue...yet. Because I'm not thin really, just average. I figure as long as I don't manifest my symptoms physically, it can't be a problem.

I know it's a problem. I shouldn't be purging everyday and thinking about how I'm the fat one in a crowd of many people, even though I'm not.

This is my reasoning "I'll just do this until I'm at the body weight I want to be at..." the problem is, once I get there, I still won't know how to maintain healthy and normal eating.

I can't tell anyone. I have everything going for me, I am going to Law School next fall, I have an amazing boyfriend and I am the peacekeeper of my family. I don't want people to see me in this light.

Someone please help me realize what's going on :(

Honey. I have been bulimic for 8 years and sure I lost a lot of wieght and it does work for some time. But there never is a perfect weight. It keeps getting worse and worse. It's like an addiction and it's hard to quit. It is a hard issue to talk about I know but hiding it is giving it more power to control your life. I think by denying it you are lying to yourself. I am not trying to be mean. It sounds like you have a very successful life and you sound like a really great person. I think the best thing you can do to get healthy is to talk about it and figure out why it started. I am always here if you want to talk.

This is a good start comming here, but I hope you understand that seeking out professional help is the next step.

welcome to support groups!!!

i wish you would realize this is a problem. you do not need to be thin to have a problem... at all. do you know how many of us on here thought the same way?? i did. i was not realy thin in my ED last year at all--in fact you couldnt tell. i was a normal weight--well it varied from healthy to thin to over my natural weigth( cause EDs cause damage to your thyroid) . but overall i wa a normal weigh even though anorexic. it is a complete myth and lie that you have to be thin to be bulimic/anorexic. heck starving and B/P doesnt even make you lose weight anyway --your body goes into shock... so no you do not have to be thin to have ED... not at all..

do not let this fact keep you from help. any good professional knows you dont have to be thin to have ED.. if they dont know that, then shame on them...

EDs come in all shapes and sizes....