I've realized a some years ago that I am codependent. I had

I've realized a some years ago that I am codependent. I had a long relationship of 8,5 years that was totally codependent. In the end I was feeling so bad in it I neede to break it off, was very hard and painful to do, and probably wouldn't have done it if I hadn't already met up with my now husband. With my husband we have been together now almost 4 years, and I sincerely thought that I had gotten over the codependency issues but now it is getting more and more apparent that I really haven't. I am afraid that he'll leave me or worse yet do what my ex did with finding someone else and actually not leave, just forcing me to do it. I don't know what to do and how to be. I have tried to be more independent, but that want usually comes from trying to hurt the other person by ignoring them rather than actually trying to be independent for my own sake. How do you get over codependency whle being in a committed relationship? It seems very hard to set boundaries between myself and him. Also he is much more independent from my ex so I am feeling not needed. I have abandonement issues for sure and have been dealing with mental healt issues in general of late so it all seems very daunting and doomed.

Oh and also. I am realizing now that I actually do need to find some other people too into my life. I have no friends and I am starting to feel that is just not healthy and is just making it all worse. Does anyone have any tips for finding friends? Online friends would do well too. My instict is to go to Tinder or something similar to find "friends" but ofc that leads to nothing good. It's just hard for me to understand why would anyone want to be just my friend if I don't even have some sexual attention to give, I know this is a screwed up pattern of thinking, and I am trying to find healthier ways to connect.

@Reneca i have always believed that finding friends i hard, it is a struggle of mine as well. I have learned i am codependent also, it is something i talk to my therapist about once a month