Ive talked to drs and they tell me there is nothing they can do cause "im not an addict". I don't have a drug or drink of choice but I cant get through a day without being on something. The drs say im being too smart with my drug/drinking decisions so I cant be considered an addict. I am prescribed percs and various muscle relaxers. I drink when I don't do pills for the most part. but I do mix them when things are bad. I even do coke when its around and offered. When im not on pills im drinking like crazy. the other day I went through a bottle of coc rum, vodka, and some peach schnapps alone. I have been dealing with so much, but obviously not in a good way. I seem to be more open and honest when I drink so when my head starts to spin I like to drink so I can talk to my bf otherwise I am way to shy and scared to talk. drinking allows for me to be honest and full of real emotion other wise im a very numb person. getting high lets me be honest but still numb I just get into one of those idgaf moods but im happy and it feels so nice to be happy. even though im not addicted to any one thing I seem to not be able to stay sober for more than a day or two. its driving me crazy and making things hard as im constantly hiding my issues form people so I don't have a life I just sit home go to college online. I work overnights and that seems to be the only time im not staring at the walls to my house.
Hun, you need to get help and if your doctors don't think you are an addict, than find one who will or a treatment program, things are definitely not within your control anymore.
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It sounds like you "self medicate" when there are things you can't deal with. I don't think it necessarily means you are an addict though. It kind of sounds more like self esteem and depression issues. Maybe you have more like "addictive behaviors".
@Dontknowhowtodeal no doubt I know I self medicate but how do I stop I become angry and spin out of control when I don’t.