my dad has been in jail for years and soon hes gonna get out and when i think about it i just wanna cry i feel so unsafe with him out sometimes i feel like it would be better if he was just dead wright now i feel like crying but i dont think i can when he gets out i dont know what i will do i dont think i will be able to andle even thinking about him coming back i never wanna see him again but 4 some reason i feel like i have to forgive him because he is my dad
Is your mom aware that you feel this way? If so maybe she'll help support you in not letting him have contact with you until your ready for that type of meeting with him. Hes been away for quite some time & cant really expect to be greeted with open arms from everyone thats felt abandoned by him for making some bad choices in his life.
All my strengths.
April
My name is Glenn and I spent 10 years in California prisons on drug charges where I turned my life around by writing novels about redemption and tough on crime platforms forgetting about compassion. God Bless and never give up!
Hey Allisa ,
My father just came out of prison in May this year. When he came out I was terrified... I had panic attacks almost every night and i prayed he wouldn't see me that way. I'm not sure how she would react to that and i can feel she still loves him although he keeps hurting her in every possible way.
I just need someone to talk to because i feel that i am going to lose my mind. When i have a flash back about the past or now when he comes home drunk or shouts i totally lose myself. Start shaking and cannot even speak. It is getting worse every day. I tend to avoid him but sometimes It is so hard to control myself ... I often imagine stabbing him (my anger is that big ) but then as a christian i feel so bad coz after all he is my father...
My father has scarred me for life and i will never be a complete confident person because of all the insults and humiliation that i have heard. I am trying hard to let it go and trust myself.
I don't know what to do... How are you dealing with it?
I am sure you have heard this before but a therapist is helpful in learning to take your life back. It will be hard and painful to relive your experiences but in the long run it will help.
I spent 3 1/2years trying to get the mother of my son to address the abuse her father put her through and she has been playing the victim for so many years and refused to address the issues. Because of not addressing the mental, physical, and sexual abuse she went through she has turned to acts that are harmful to herself and everyone around her. This has caused many problems and our son and myself suffer from it.
I know as a christain we are taught to forgive people, and in times it is nearly impossible. Dont worry about forgiving your father right away. It will happen in time.
Just remember that you have a purpose in life, and nobody can take that away from you.
Thank you so much for posting Doug J
I am definitely considering to go to a therapist first chance i get. It is just that i am very ashamed and feel so guilty. I have so many mixed emotions... But as you said we all have a purpose in life.
I hope things get better for you as well