Jealous of this PAGE

Wow... it's my birthday weekend. Just my boyfriend and I. My kids are both away. He had told my family he already had something planned for me, so they didn't even try to plan anything. So, we are laying here watching football, and I'm on here talking to you guys. He gets mad that I'm on here. Now, we are in this blow up fight! WTF? Why me? Anyone else have this problem? He threatens that he's going to join chat rooms and gets up, throwing his clothes on. Of course, I told him to go on and get his haircut or something... I really don't care. This is nuts, I come here for help, on occasion(more when he doesn't talk) and now we are fighting over me getting help! Had he rather me go out and meet new people physically? Really??

Wow hun I'm sorry about the blow-up. Did he communicate with you, why he was bothered or no? Is he worried about something you could be saying?

Have you told him how much it is helping you? I would try talk to him and see what it is that is bothering him about you being on the site.

Happy Birthday hun...
I hope you make up soon and he gets you a big fat cake to apologise:)

Love to you
Moongal x

Gosh honey I'm sorry, You said he was watching football, so whats the problem w/you talking here w/all your friends. I'll bet he'll see that hes being silly & it will be fine in a while. Happy Birthday & do enjoy your special day.

Take care, April

Hey hon! Happy b day! Mine was the 14th! I can see it from both sides.my wife is on face book all time.drives me nuts.I feel like in the eavning when where watching tv she spends more time talking about her day to the rest of the world than me her husband! Maybe he just wanted you to be doing somthing w/ him and that's all? I would think its not really about you and a online support group.but yes he could have handeled it better.and its your bday.if he really planed the day for you and you don't Like football then yeah,wtf! He need to get off his *** and shut up and spend time w/ u! Good luck babe.

Moongal-he thinks I'm on here bashing him all the time, like I have nothing else I need to work out. I have too many problems to focus on JUST him. TRUST ME! First, it was my son when he was here. Then I got a dog, and of course, I talk to the dog more.
When I got out of the hospital, the doctor suggested I find a support group. Well, I couldn't find any to go to, but found this site. It's perfect because it covers so many different problems. I read him some things, and try to tell him that its not all about him, but he countinuously throws it up in my face. I use to not do any Facebook or Online "anything". Then, I spent nights listening to him on FB. Well, I started getting into it more. Our communication is near to none, but it's not because I'm on here. The talking stopped long before that and he makes no effort to fix it. I'm done making the effort because I don't think things are going to work out between us. I'm twice divorced, single, kids grown, make my own money... bottom line. I really don't need this. I just not much on being sociable. I'm in no hurry to run and find someone else, so I don't have to rush away, but I do have higher expectations for myself. I feel I deserve to do what I need to do for me. I think I've earned that right. I'm not on anyone else's time clock, but mine and the Lord!
Thanks everyone for their opinion! It really was nice to check my post when I got home after the "blow-up" and see I had friends on here that were thinking about me. And to have so many birthday wishes! You all shouldn't have! Lol...

Liar2me,been there STILL doing that, my house is SO SILENT now the past 2yrs because of my so called husband disorders, so I too started coming here to talk. Although I can appreciate redeyes comment all team players have to be on board huh. Hope your day went well though regardless.

Take care of you.

April

Hey Liar2me,
I am so sori that he thinks that you are bashing him. Are you working things out yourself though that is the main thing?

Would you be interested in trying to save your relationship and open communication again or would he be interested in trying therapy together?

I hope you are healing hun, that's all that matters.

Love to you
Moongal x

Thanks guys. I stand my ground when it comes to some things. I'm not giving up something that is helping me get better, specially when you told me I needed to do SOMETHING to get better! Exactly what is "something"? When we have problems or a past, as we all do, people always say, "Do something to fix it?"(a southerner would say, anyway). They don't really want to hear what is wrong or who all it involves, unless to go gossip, they just want you to fix it and move on... People are so wrap up in their selfish needs and think they can control others as they wish. If they aren't able to gain that type of control, you usually end up not being friendly to each other anymore. I did let people control my every move at one point in my life, but I finally realized that all I really have in this world is "ME". No one else cares if I eat today or get out bed. No one else cares if I paid my car payment this month or if I laid out of work. WHY should we let someone else CARE so much about me being on a website for 30 minutes longer than what you thought I should.
April-most of my relationships have been that way and I'm divorced twice. In my first marriage, I stopped talking for over a year! It seems once that communication is broken, it's hard to obtain again. Somehow, the room becomes uncomfortable when you're alone with that person. It's hard to look them in the eyes anymore and they don't really understand why. You pull away when they touch you, not because you don't want them. Only because you don't want to be touched at all, by ANYONE. Atleast, if the person you trust makes you uncomfortable to be in the same room or to be touched, I always crawl into a shell and don't want anyone to touch me. This isn't always I bad thing. It makes you stronger and helps you to see who is really there for you, and who isn't.

Liar2me… I’m sorry to hear your feeling the way you do. I can totally understand how your feeling. I had been in a relationship similar. I noticed you had said " I did let people control my every move at one point in my life, but I finally realized that all I really have in this world is “ME”. I had felt that way at one point and time. I used to say all the same things you had written in your post. I’m a single mom and spent 10 years alone because of how I felt. I also spent 5 of those years in counseling to help me better understand myself and what was going to make me happy. Sounds to me, if he is feeling as though you are bashing him to people on the internet, that he knows what his faults are. I wish you luck and hope for your happiness. Have a wonderful day.

If he really won't make the effort to meet you half way to make things better then **** him! He's a waste of your time and air. Ditch him and get on w/ your life.and that's that,see ya,like never! Lol!

First and foremost Liar2me, HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I am just sorry that you had an argument on your special day. I am so proud of you for standing your ground and not allowing him to push you off of this site. You are here for all of the right reasons and we are so happy to have you here. Please continue to be the strong amazing person that you are and keep sharing with us here.

Sto Lot! (Polish version of Happy Birthday!)

Sorry you are having a hard time with your love. Mine told me to go get help and here I am. He has made a comment once or twice, but nothing we fought over.

The last comment he made was, "Are you telling everyone on there how perfect your life is???"

I wasn't sure how to take that b/c it was said with much sarcasm. I just said no and left it alone.

I noticed he did that when I was on here and he was home. I believe he simply felt I was not spending time with him, even though he was just watching TV. He was still aware I was "doing my own thing."

A simple adjustment to when I am on here and haven't heard a peep since.

Try it and see what happens.

Liar2me

You said it right ....its all about control and their own selfishnes it took me TOO many yrs to finally see that myself.If the site is helping then that is great and no one should take something thats good for you away. I can relate to alot of what you shared here. this site did consume a lot of my time for a while ..when your husband says he can't help you speaking for myself here its hurts because he didn't even try to understand what I was dealing with . So being here helped alot for me and helped me make better choices to become happier with my life and make some good changes in my life as well. This site got me to a point where I accepted i needed help with my ED and I fought to get that help..he told me I was attention seeking.
From what Im hearing from you you know whats good for you and have to choose what you want to be happier.

Take care!

I am so sorry your birthday was awful. We all need to watch out for controlling behaviors in our partners. Before you know it, they are trying to take everything away, and for what?! I will keep you in my prayers. Sounds as though you know yourself, and what you need to feel good, and to feel loved. RUN WITH IT! You deserve the moon on a string!

Well, first of all, thanks for all the birthday wishes! I got more from support friends here than anywhere else. Glad I'm to be a part of the family. All of you have been very helpful.
My boyfriend and I are still battling over this page. It's not an on going thing, but ian tell it still bothers him. Like, he brought it up last night while I was on here. He says he thinks it makes me worse and I'm getting bad advice here. That I'm listening to a bunch of strangers tell me what I should do about my problems! THAT'S NOT IT AT ALL! Not to scream at you all, but to get it out! Can he not hear me when I explain to him I am on here to get rid of some things that I have locked up inside of me. I don't know how else to try to gett all of this out. Even though I'm here, I'm still having a had time talking about deep stuff. You know, the violent details... The things that make you want to vomit every time the thought crosses your mind, which seems to continue for years to come. The horror you find yourself in, the middle of the night, not being able to scream yourself out of the dream you are trapped in. You wake gasping for air!
Where do you dump all of that stuff? Who do you load that off on? After holding it in for so long, noone around me now understands because I've been different since I move away. I feel myself slipping ack though. I've been so depressed lately and can't get out of it. I did pack a few boxes, worked out with Wii Fit, and was dress before my boyfriend got home. We spent some time together playing Wii. Then, went for dinner and an ice cream. He's sleeping downstairs right now. That's why I'm here and can think about what I'm writing, instead of him fussing at me. Lol...
I just can't get all this trash out to people around me because they won't understand and they will judge me. Besides, they shouldn't have to listen to me spill out my traumatized life story. I just don't feel like talking to anyone. That's why I think this has to help me SOME? All of us on here, can't be that bad or that wrong in seeing the way a normal life should be. I hope I didn't offend anyone, I just wish I had more support at home than on here. I guess many of us feel like that.
Thanks for the replies, so helpful and nice to know someone is out ther listening to what you say, no matter what you may want to talk about.

Your so right Liar2me although I'd tell HIM YOU ARE HELPING other here w/your advice & that makes YOU feel better to be able to offer assistance to others. Thats what we're all here for anyway to hear & tell eachothers stories.

Liar2me, I am so happy that you are here, you have no idea how much you have helped me and others, and that is an incredibly selfless act. As well, the support, guidance and compassion that everyone offers here is so above and beyond anything that I could have hoped for. This is a safe place where we can share most anything without judgement, just as you said/wrote. I am sorry that your boyfriend doesn't get it, I guess not everyone does. But, the insight, advice and opinions that I have received here are truly priceless, as I feel that everyone tells/writes me like it is and doesn't sugar coat it. That's what I love most about this Site. I feel like it's going to hundreds of therapists and receiving objective viewpoints.

Please keep sharing with us.

From Mood Disorders to Bipolar Disorder