Jealousy An inner battle

Since the topic of jealousy in relationships recently came up here, I wanted to share this article that I just read. I believe that jealousy can be detrimental to a relationship; therefore, it's essential [not easy] to nip it in the bud, because it can be a slippery slope. Here is the article in its entirety;

"Jealousy is sometimes referred to as the "Green Eyed Monster". Indeed it is a monster of an emotion. Most of us feel this emotion at some time or other. There are those who can control it but there are others who cannot. If not controlled, jealousy can destroy a person and the relationship. It is an inner battle of oneself. An emotion of negative thoughts and feelings brought about by insecurities, fears and anxiety of having to lose something you value. Sometimes jealousy is justified but other times its not. If you are struggling right now with this emotion what should you do about it?

First of all, if you are in a relationship and you constantly feel jealous of anyone or everyone who comes near your partner then you have to stop and analyze the situation. Look at the reasons why you are jealous. Does your partner give you reasons to feel this way? Do you feel jealous because of past experience that you were cheated once? Maybe you feel this way because of lack of attention from your partner? Whatever your reasons are, it is best to sit down and discuss it with your partner. If most of these feelings comes from within, then you have to do something about it.

If these fears are unfounded, it would be best that you don't keep harping on your partner with it because you are simply driving him/her away. Trust is an issue that you both have to work on. Insecurity is one cause of jealousy so it is important to develop your self worth. You may feel insecure because your partner's co worker is sexy and confident while you fit on a size 16 clothes and always feel wanting to blend in the crowd. You must realize there is something special in you that your partner love despite the plus size frame you have. It may be because you are caring and sweet. Self confidence is quite attractive and if you keep reminding yourself to think positively all the time, you will have a habit of doing so.

Most of all, do not let jealousy control you and your relationship. If this happens then inevitably the relationship is doomed to fail. There are people who goes into rages and fits when jealousy consumes them. They become obsessed in the sense that they have to know where you are, who you are with and what you are doing. When these feelings become out of control, they hurt the people they love physically and emotionally. If you are currently in this kind of relationship, you have to get out of it now. Seek help and advise. Go into counseling.

In conclusion, since jealousy exist in all of us, it is also up to us how to deal with it. It is a constant struggle within ourselves whether we let it control and ruin us or we take hold of it and do something about it."

- Helium, by Lynne Sampilo

very good information!

Thank you so much for taking the time to read it!

This is such a great article! That you so much for sharing it!!!

Me- As I am inside, thank you so much for taking the time to read it :-)

oohh puppypal the husband and i both suffered uncontrolled jealousy early in our marrige, indeed created much kaos, thanks for posting. hopefully many will read and heed. sidenote...25 days and counting.

Kathy, you always makes me the "25 days and counting". Yay! Very very exciting. Also, whenever I see previews or post-show reviews of Dancing With The Stars, I always think of you. Did you see the slip up with Maksim and Kirstie? I felt so badly for them.

Thank you for sharing that you and your husband experienced jealously early on, and you two obviously worked through it because I know what a beautiful marriage you have now. May I asked how you worked through it? I think that it would be so helpful for us to know should it arise.

oh yes saw poor kirstie and maxim don’t miss a show, wendy and tony got the boot tonight.
honestly it was kaos/power struggle/control issues/jealousy…its simple to work thru if your a mature adult and can communicate from the vulneradle place of the heart and be honest. oversensitiveness and button pushing. althouhg we we 32/43 when married we had lots of baggage and selfisness. lots of battles i left him twice in 97 and 99. god had to be brought and we each had to look at ourselves and make changes. over the second 10 years changes came slowly on each our parts the more god the better it got. last 6 yrs we’ve had 2 little bickers thats it. a marrige should be baced on what i can give not what i can get. anymore questions feel free hun

Wow Kathy! Thank you so much for sharing your marriage journey, as it's so real and realistic. All relationships have their ups and downs but it's about pushing through those tougher moments and not giving up. I feel that I've run in the past when the tough got going. Now that I am older, I know that I have some set ways, and I am really trying to be very flexible in my ways on the whole because I don't want to shut anyone out ever. I am trying to keep an open heart and open mind :-)

oh honey brat attacks like you’ve never seen. he was quite jealous of anything that took my attn away. even my kids and i of his. although we were older when we married i could write volumes about all the episodes hun. i’m so grateful we have been able to overcome all that nonsense. it all starts with looking at yourself first rather than the other guy…i had so much baggage puppy …therapy was very helpful for me but not until i ready to get honest about me…so thats my words of wisdom for the day hehehe…love you so much dearest puppy

Happy Thursday Most Fabulous Kathy! Wow, thank you so much for sharing your wonderful words of wisdom, they are incredibly eye-opening and so helpful. It just shows how incredibly strong you are. Wishing you a beautiful pain-free day :-)

happy thursday back at ya puppypal…strong??? crazy yes but it has brought a tad bit of wisdom since those days. thanks so much for your ongoing support as we are really still in a life/death struggle with what we have going on so continued prayer and vibes humbly received…lots of love hun